Villains by Necessity by Eve Forward, the classic that should have been

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I’m sure if I was better versed in fantasy I would know that there are several books like this with the same concept. Villains having to do the right thing because the heroes don’t realize they’re dooming the world. But the one I ended up coming across was Villains by Necessity by Eve Forward.

From the cover, you know this book is going to rock. Our concept is simple, a wizard Mizzamir and his band of heroes saved the world by killing a great evil. Mizzamir has also started using his powers to forcefully remove the want to do evil from people. Because of that, nights are growing shorter and lighter. The world is “whiting out” as it were but no one can think that because everything is so much better.

Enter two of our villains Sam and Arcie, a human assassin and depressed dwarf thief, respectively. They get captured and Arcie gives Sam a contract to kill Mizzamir, this motivates Sam to break free and the two of them go on the run. They run into a druid named Kaylana who explains how the world is ending and the way that they can save it, by opening something called the Black Gate. It’ll release evil back into the world and balance it out.

What proceeds is a well written, funny and altogether great story. They encounter a sorceress who just loves being evil but has some real pathos about her, a silent black knight and a centaur bard who doesn’t know much about what’s going on but he is a double agent for the heroes.

It’s just such a bummer that this book didn’t get off the ground and become a series or that Eve didn’t write more than three books(I just found this out, I never actually looked it up until now). Because she’s an excellent writer. The book flows with wonderful character moments, it’s funny(there’s a moment where they encounter a village of Smurflike creatures and do what we all want to do and cuts a tree down so that they get crushed) and she utilizes the concept to its utmost. Just because evil is gone doesn’t mean people are better. And shows that forcing people to change isn’t this great and good thing. That there is a truly horrific cost for all of it. And just because “evil” is gone, doesn’t mean that people are better. There’s an exceptionally well written scene where Sam is out and about at night and hears a woman being sexually assaulted, which he steps in to save her from. This could easily just be a save the cat moment but it then rolls into Sam discovering a power that becomes a major plot point.

Mizzamir is a great villain because he’s not over the top but he’s so sure that he’s right. He looks upon the villains with pity that reeks of hypocrisy and snobbiness. The rest of his crew are more overtly antagonistic towards the villains and seek to harm them. They make for two distinct and interesting antagonists that feel like viable threats.

My main complaint honestly is that some things are not delved into as much as I would like. My sister has told me that she doesn’t need things like that and that it’s a personal issue of mine. Maybe it is but if the main complaint I have for a book is that I want more of it, then it’s something special.

It’s available on kindle and audible so read it if you can. A paperback version will run you about 86 bucks because it was only a first pressing. I got it for about forty back in 2004. I don’t regret spending that at all. Read it and enjoy it my friends.

Very Important People

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Dropout’s show that’s been running for three seasons as this point, Very Important People, is such a genius idea. The basic concept is that the host, Vic Michaelis(they/them), interviews a comedian who has been given a makeover into some kind of character or creature. The person getting the makeover has no say in or idea what they’re going to become. They then have to come up with a character based on their makeover. Here are a few examples:

Anna Garcia as Princess Emily

Ify Nwadiwe as Denzel

It’s a fascinating show. The skill of their improvisation is so impressive. Vic is no slouch either, they’re playing the straight man with barely controlled madness. They fully give in to whatever the character on the other side of the couch is giving them. There’s a nimbleness to them. They help weave together their interaction into a story that can end with Vic getting punched in the face or quitting the show and taking a demon home. as a roommate/child.

However, they finally went too far. The makeup department brought this hell into my good Christian eyes:

Ollie and Archimedes played by Jacob Wysocki and Brennan Lee Mulligan. Even when they appeared Vic was visibly shook. I will never watch this episode and if you want to get me to confess secrets I’ve never had, you just need to put me in a chair and force me to watch it. Anyway, here’s the first episode that’s free on Youtube if you want to check it out before you subscribe to Dropout.

I Can Be Dumb Sometimes

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I used to work in a long term pharmacy and that meant that sometimes we had to work the major holidays, Christmas, Thanksgiving and New Year’s. My first year with them, Thanksgiving was coming up and we had to choose which holidays to take. My sister had just ended a long term relationship and didn’t want to explain to several dozen people where her partner was so she wasn’t going to Thanksgiving with my parents.

I decided that we could have Thanksgiving together. So, I put in for that day and felt good about it.

You might note in those actions, I didn’t talk to my sister about us having dinner together. So, when I, full of misplaced pride in what I had done, told my parents about this, they pointed out that my sister was going to California to have Thanksgiving with her friends.

And that’s how I spent that Thanksgiving alone. Communication is important!

Permanently Lame

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Yesterday I spoke about drunk drivers. Now, I want to share an albatross that I have to carry around my neck for the rest of my life.

I never knew where to get weed. Not until it got legalized. Now I’ll never be able to say yeah, I know where to score some bud, some cush, some sticky-icky, some Mary Jane. Some that loud.

Let me be clear that I’ve never smoked pot nor do I want to. I just wanted to know where to get it. But that time has passed. Now I know where to get it because there’s five dispensaries in or around the town I live in.

I guess I’ll never be one of the cool kids. I don’t want to be someone who knows where to get harder drugs because that just seems like bad news.

Something I’ve Noticed

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I like watching body cam videos. I don’t know why or what about it that fascinates me. Maybe there’s a secret true crime fan inside of me that I’ve never embraced. But I especially like the ones where drunk drivers get their selfish asses hauled off to jail for the night. Because there’s nothing worse than idiots who decide to that they can put everyone’s lives on the line because they decided to have too much to drink.

But having watched a number of these videos, an underlying theme that I’ve seen is that all the drunks when asked how much they’ve had to drink they always respond two beers or two drinks.

I don’t drink so I can’t speak on the matter but is it decided amongst drinking folk that that’s the agreed upon amount to tell the cops? Is there a cultural reason to do so? I wouldn’t be so intrigued if it wasn’t so consistent. They always just say two. Maybe someone in their high school told them that that was the get out of jail free card for stops like this and they all went with it.

Anyway, whoever decides to drink and drive, they deserve to have the book thrown at them.

Two Suits

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I bought two suits in 2020
The promise of getting a new job
Things didn’t work out that way
And they stood in my closet
Waiting for a chance to do their thing
Now, I’ve worn them out
I lost sixty pounds from when I bought them
They fit me better now
I keep track of how often they go
To sad events or happy ones
Unfortunately, the score isn’t even
It’s been a hard five years

One Year Later

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I started this blog and meant to update it every day of the week and have off on Saturday and Sunday. I managed over the last year to do a little over half of the days. I think that’s pretty good.

I’m not going to give an excuse for why I haven’t posted more. Instead, I’m just going to explain where I was this last year and why I won’t have the same problems that I did this year.

When I started this blog, I had just started a new job. I was nervous the entire time. Because of my anxiety I was constantly on edge that I was going to be fired. I had just moved into my first solo apartment. It took me a minute to figure everything out on that. I’m still realizing that I’m lacking in certain things here and there but I just pick them up and move on.

In short, I spent the last year dancing as fast I can. But now, my feet are below me. I’m established. I have a schedule that I can keep to. It feels good to be in this position. The chaos that this last year was has left me now feeling strong and capable. I want to spend this coming year getting back into shape and really focusing on my writing. I think that I’m going to be able to do it and I have the drive to do so.

Stick it out here and we’ll go on this journey together. Happy New Year, my friends.

The Flying V and Avengers: Doomsday

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When I was younger, I used to love the Mighty Ducks movies. They were quirky and fun and made me wish I could rollerblade. I attempted several times but the fears of breaking bones, which I’ve never done, put me off from putting any serious effort into it. See also, why I don’t ride bikes.

So, for the uninitiated, the flying V is a move they pull in the Mighty Ducks where they skate towards the opposing team’s goal in a V formation. Passing the puck between them so the goalie doesn’t know who’s going to take the shot. They then score a goal because the goalie is just bad at his job. Here’s the video:

It takes the opposing teams three movies to realize they can just bum rush the ducks and beat their asses and the whole thing falls apart.

When it happens in the third movie, it means something. That the old tricks don’t work and they’re outclassed. Pretty simple.

But what I want is for that to happen in Avengers: Doomsday. In one of the biggest scenes in history in Avengers: Endgame, we saw every hero we got to know over a decade of movies join together for a charge against Thanos’ forces. It’s this enormous shot and they eventually win in the end. It truly is the epitome of the word, epic.

So, in Avengers: Doomsday, I think they should do it again. And the Avengers should fucking fail. That would show that this is a new threat that’s beyond anything they’ve seen before. Also, I think it would only be right that Doom is that big of a threat.

I still think it’s stupid that it’s Robert Downey Jr. It should be literally anyone else. Perhaps someone of Romani heritage like the character is supposed to be.