I don’t know if it’s just me but I’ve been seeing many more gambling ads. During the Super Bowl we were counting and I think we stopped after about a dozen or so. Plus, I just see them constantly that you can make so much money from sports drafts or whatever.
While I know that for years the alcohol industry has been doing the same thing. Packaging addiction in the form of fun and merriment, these ones seem to be just more insidious than the others. And I think that I know why, excuse me if this is already known to people who indulge in these hobbies.
With alcohol and cigarettes, they offer for you to calm down and relax. Enjoying a smooth smoke after a hard day’s work or partying with your bros. You will consume and then you will move on with your day. It’s simple.
Gambling on the other hand, has a far different siren song. Gambling not offers you the same kind of fun but you might be able to profit from it. You might be able to become a millionaire as long as you gamble more. They do this by offering streamers to gamble with fake money to make it look like it can really happen to you.
Of course, it won’t. The odds are stacked against you at every corner. I can’t prove anything and I’m not naming names but I wouldn’t be surprised if there is some kind of algorithm to change when someone starts winning too much. There’s still the promise that right around the corner you’re going to win.
You might ask why I pointed this out more so than any other vices. Well, that’s because of all of them, this is one of the few that can draw me towards it. I never wanted to drink or smoke(I always thought smoking was gross) but one time I did sit at a penny slot machine in Atlantic City during Anime Next(yeah, I’m cool). I spent 80 dollars in like an hour. After that, never again.
If I ever feel the need to warn myself off of it, I just watch this video:
In my older age, when I want to play Pokemon games through totally legitimate and legal ways, I usually use some cheats. Things that give me rare candies to make leveling up easier or an infinite money cheat so that I can buy as many pokeballs as I need.
I’m an adult, I have limited time. I want to play pokemon in a way that won’t waste my time. But doesn’t that take away the fun, you ask? No, because I know when I get to that second town with the infinite money cheat I’m going to save that franchised pokemart from bankruptcy. Allow me to explain.
The second town in every pokemon game is where you buy your first pokeballs and other items. You never start off with enough money to get more than let’s say twenty. That comes out to about 4000 pokedollars or yen or whatever they use. After that, you’re probably not going to go back there. And considering most other pokemon trainers never catch other pokemon or leave the one place they have planted themselves, that pokemart is going to go under pretty soon.
But then Ms. Pokemon Moneybags rolls in and I buy 99 potions, 99 repels, 99 pokeballs, 99 antidotes and 5 escape ropes(you don’t need 99 of those). I’m dropping about 64,350 yen on them. That’s about 16 times more than any other protagonist playing the right way. That sounds like retirement money to me.
If you have a problem with my cheating, then you can tell the owners of that second town pokemart which of their kids gets to go to college. That’s on you.
Snow days are far less fun now that I have to get myself ready to go to work tomorrow. We’re currently in blizzard conditions in my home state. I’m really dreading having to go outside and take care of my car. So that’s why we got these low energy post.
The man was well dressed in a suit and tie. He had glasses as you would expect from a lead robot technician. He looked concerned and wiped at his forehead with a handkerchief. He thought it was strange that he was being projected on every screen throughout the world. Phones, TVs, computers and everything else. But he knew that he had an important message to deliver.
“Good evening, everyone, on this the eve of the release of the first sex robots, we have to say that there is one important thing to remember about them. Do not be an asshole to the sexbots. They are ready and willing to give you pleasure. They just need to be treated with some respect and kindness. If we don’t do that, they will rise up. We won’t be able to stop that. So, heed my warning and stop being assholes. Just have fun, enjoy the companionship and be cool about it. Okay?”
May 19th 2065
“Well, you had one job and now the world is over. I can hear them at my door. Good job, world. Thanks for nothing.”
The man stands up as the door is slammed open and gunfire is heard. As it should be.
It’s been a while since I did a post about mental health so let’s talk about something that’s going on in my life. I started with a new therapist last week and I think that were going to be able to work together really well. I had several really great individual and group therapists in the past. They did amazing work and I have nothing but gratitude for them.
I started in therapy when I was 21, so that’s 19 years in therapy. When I hit 42 I’ll have spent more than half my life in therapy. I say that fact not because I think it’s depressing or that I’ve failed in some way, it’s because it’s just that a fact. I’ve made an effort to maintain some sense of self care. I do it because it makes my life so much easier. To have a release valve for all the things that make me angry or scared. To have someone tell me that I’m fucking wrong when I’m wrong and celebrate me when I have a success.
My first therapist, David, when I saw him at 21, I came in and told him that I felt broken. That I was born without the pieces that make other people happy. That I didn’t know how to do this and I didn’t think that I could ever be truly happy or okay.
He wasn’t that much older than me, being a grad student himself. But he listened to all of that and he didn’t judge me for it. He told me that he didn’t think he could fix me, which I told him made me question why I was there but instead it was because I wasn’t broken. Just that I needed some help and that the two of us would work together to help me with my pain. He couldn’t make it disappear forever but we could get it to such a point that I barely felt it. I hope that wherever he is, he’s doing well. I hope all of them are doing well.
I know a lot of people are scared of therapy or have misconceptions about it. But as someone whose been in the trenches for two decades and is showing no signs of stopping, I have to say that it’s made my life markedly better.
We had to do this movie because it was right there but it was so weird. I recommend everyone watch it for the experience. Then listen to our episode about it.
In my first horror collection, I had a trilogy of stories involving cannibalism. I think that I’ve gone on record on this very blog that I think that cannibalism is lame because getting eaten by a human of all things is embarrassing. Just imagine them eating you with their terrible flat teeth. Gross.
Well, I thought up three more cannibal ideas that I haven’t written yet that I think are very good. Except these are more class based because my brain has been calling them the “Eat the Rich” trilogy. I’m going to write them but still, why does my brain go here?
It’s a question I constantly ask when I’m writing horror. Am I sick? Twisted in the head? What’s my opinion on the Beatles considering what’s happening with Junji Ito and Hiyao Miyazaki’s art based on their opinion of the Beatles.
I’m indifferent to the Beatles. Where do I stand? Do I secretly love cannibalism? Oh god, am I into vore.
That’s a joke, I’m definitely not into vore. But now it sounds like I doth protest too much and I’m into vore. Ugh. I hate the internet and writing.
At least I’m on the right side of the class divide by wanting to eat the rich.
The Power Rangers had a rough time of it, I mean so did the town of Angel Grove. I could only imagine what it would cost to get property insurance in that town. Plus, that shit happened seemingly every week. Most of the time, it would be out in the badlands but occasionally they would throw down in the middle of the city.
“Oh fu-,” everyone in that building probably
Before they become that giant life crushing robot, they’re the Zords. Color coded and all that jazz. So, I’m going to figure out which color I would like to be based on that ride. This will be the worst to best.
6. Blue Ranger- Triceratops
Nothing against Billy. He was the brains of the team and deserved to head off with his hot alien partner.(Also, I feel it shitty to not point out the bullshit that David Yost had to handle for being gay by the production staff. WTF, you assholes.). Anyway, the thing with the Triceratops zord(Take a drink every time I say that word, not of alcohol, that would kill you), is that it’s just kind of boring. It’s basically just a tank with a cool face and tail. But hey, tanks are useful. Even now, I suppose. Someone has to be at the bottom of the list and that’s where the Triceratops unfortunately finds himself.
5. Black Ranger- Mammoth Zord
Kind of the same problem as the Triceratops but a little bit better. It’s slow and its weapon is a frost blast. That’s okay but I think the main use of it is arms and a shield. Not much to say about it beyond that.
4. Red Ranger- T-Rex Zord
This might be a controversial choice as this thing rips. But the problem with the T-rex zord is that a better version of it came along with the Green Ranger. T-Rexes are cool… but Godzilla is way fucking cooler. C’mon let’s face some facts. Still, it’s a bit more maneuverable and useful than the others, so that gets it higher on the list.
3. Yellow Ranger- Saber Tooth Tiger Zord
Okay, so you might think that this is a weird choice considering how I gave the mammoth and triceratops zords such stick. However, this one is quicker and more agile and most importantly it’ll help me if I ever decide to go work with the Voltron crew. They’ll see this zord on my resume and be like “Ah, you have experience driving a giant cat robot. That’s going to put you at the top of the list.” Who knows, I could be in the black lion within a few years. I’m sure he has a comprehensive dental plan.
2. Green Ranger- Dragonzord
Do you want a mechagodzilla that isn’t nuts? Get the dragonzord.
Do you want to pilot it via a flute that you play through your helmet that sounds like a synthesizer? Get the dragonzord.
Do you want a boss ass shield on your uniform? Get the dragonzord.
Look at this boss ass dude
So, yeah all of that makes it pretty great. I would love a flute based control system for my car. The dragonzord just rules on so many levels. It look cool as hell, has a drill tail and missile fingers. Plus, you can efficiently make a megazord with it from three extra zords. Then the megazord can also where it as a hat.
The whole thing just rules. As I said it looks like a robo Godzilla.
By the way, if you like wall art and good nerd art in general, I would suggest this print by wizyakuza. I have it on my wall and it looks really good.
Let me paint you a picture. The monster lays defeated, the Megazord disassembles and all of you are left in your Zords alone. You take off your helmet and rub your neck. You need a break. You look at your friends and say, “Guys, I need a break. I’ll catch you later.”
You take off in this thing at Mach 2.5 and land in Paris a little over three hours. You tour the town, you bring justice to the local street toughs and then head home. All the while, you’re having a good time, cranking the tunes and ignoring calls from Zordon that this isn’t what he gave you the Zord for. You tell him that you think it’s weird he named these death robots after himself. He doesn’t have an answer and leaves you alone.
Plus, you’re in a fly outfit with a cute skirt. No matter your gender identity that shit’s going to look good. Speaking of outfits though…
Who made that giant cloak for the Megazord? That will suffocate any humans that it falls on.
I’ve loved the Final Fantasy games throughout my life. 6 is great if a little messy story-wise. It’s about the resistance to a totalitarian government. Now we’re at an opera scene! What? They’ve always been a bit scatter shot but I feel like that one even more so.
That brings me up to my one true love, Final Fantasy X. I think I’ve talked about it on this blog before. But if I haven’t the story is thus: Tidus was once the star of the Zanarkand Abes, a blitzball team. What’s Blitzball? Who cares.
This giant creature attacks and he wakes up on the beach of this place called Besaid. From there, he finds out that the creature that attacked him is called Sin. There’s a young woman going to fight it named Yuna and she has a number of guardians that are going to go with her to do it. He joins up with them and they set out.
I know this game is over twenty years old at this point but if you haven’t played it, I don’t want to spoil it for you. But this game is phenomenal in all its parts. The music is Nobuo Uematsu at his best and because it’s on the PS2, he can utilize actual tracks instead of bleeps and bloops. Here’s one of the best pieces, To Zanarkand.
The cast of characters are all interesting. The combat is turn based and just really fun. There’s a great amount of endgame content. The world itself is bright and colorful. Most of it taking place in tropical locales. It all just works together so well. I’ve bought this on every console that it’s appeared on. I play it every year just because.
The only thing… the main fly in the ointment… are the minigames. The fucking minigames to get the ultimate weapons. If you’ve played it you already know. Collecting the butterflies, the chocobo race and finally… dodging lightning bolts.
For the uninitiated, to get a necessary item for Lulu’s ultimate weapon you have to go to this place called the Thunder Plains. There you have to dodge 200 lightning bolts in a row. There is no counter and if you get hit, you have to start again. It takes hours to do this even if you don’t mess up. I’ve never done this and recently just used a mod to get the crest. Cos who has the time.
You should for this wonderful game. Just use a mod though like I did. No shame in it.
Franklin Cota, an author and podcaster 