Tag Archives: movie

Primetime Review

Before the storm came, Suesie and I went to go see the movie about Chris Hansen and To Catch a Predator, Primetime. It was… it’s hard to explain what it was.

The movie is what I would call a full arthouse movie. It doesn’t come down to hard on either side on what kind of person Chris Hansen is, but presents his attributes and actions and leaves it up to you to make your own decision. What I took from it, is that we’re watching the unravelling of a man as his personal and professional falls apart. He tries desperately to save both but ends up destroying them.

When we first see Robert Pattinson’s Chris Hansen, he’s well dressed and articulate. We hear the classic lines of To Catch a Predator, “Why don’t you have a seat right there?” he’s in control. He’s capable.

We next see him with his producer, Andie and they’re told by the head of NBC that they’re going to be put up against Lost, the biggest show on television during primetime. The unraveling begins soon after that. You can learn more at the end when I get to the spoiler section at the end of this article.

I might do a spoiler review when it’s out of theaters. The performances are all top notch. Pattinson of course steals the show as Hansen himself. It’s not just that he nails the voice but he nails his charismatic personality as well. He draws you in but there feels to something dangerous underneath it all.

Merritt Wever plays his producer, Andie. Her continual put upon and sick of Hansen’s shit is so fun to watch. Her journey is interesting as well. As she tries to figure out whether she should stay or she should go.

Skyler Gisondo, brings vulnerability, earnestness, uncertainty and fear to Dan Plum. Dan is a young actor trying to get screen credits to gain admittance to the screen actor’s guild. Because of his youthful appearance, he’s able to portray one of the male decoys. They don’t tell him what the job is up to the point that he’s shocked during their first shoot he gets flashed by a predator who then puts whipped cream on his genitals. From there, he learns that most decoys quit after a few days. His determination and manipulation from Chris keeps him going throughout the movie. He excels in the role. But it costs him a great deal.

There are various other side characters including the other decoy played by Phoebe Bridgers who took time out of writing beautifully sad songs. Everyone in this movie is bringing their A game. Especially the directing. Lance Oppenheimer blends the blurriness of early oughts video with the crispness of the modern age. The movie blends shadow and light to make everything murky and threatening.

The movie is a little under two hours long. It doesn’t feel like that and moves along at a pretty good clip.

I would highly recommend it and I’m going to talk about it in more detail below. Spoilers ahead. Turn back now.

*****SPOILERS AHEAD*****

This movie doesn’t portray Hansen in the best light. As stated above when you see him for the first time, he’s wearing a suit and at the top of his game. The obsession with getting his show on top of the ratings will wipe all of that away. We see from the beginning how he hyper focuses on things. There’s a scene where he goes to get a rice krispies treat from a vending machine. It gets stuck and he calls the vending services about it. He’s high strung and desperate for approval. From the public, the network and his wife. Despite that last one, he’s having an extramarital affair that is going to come to light later in this movie.

There isn’t much that he won’t do to further his own interests. Andie knows how to manipulate and she manipulates him into manipulating Dan. Chris gives him a speech about how he’s helping to destroy an ancient evil. He calls him a superhero. It works because he needs Dan, but he wants Dan to think that he needs Chris.

That doesn’t work on the next stop of his manipulation tour with his affair partner. She has more power over him and thus it doesn’t work as well. She begins crying and because of that he’s caught. The National Enquirer will threaten him throughout the movie. Every time that happens, he starts to crack a little bit more. He flubs an interaction with a rabbi predator. He begins to make the series of decisions that will lead to his downfall.

There can be seen a lot that when he is surrounded in the world of the feminine, he’s more at home. Things work. He’s listening to his producer Andie, who in many ways acts as a matriarchal figure to him. He eats snacks like a little kid throughout the movie, at one moment trying to unravel a Fruit Rollup. It’s only when he starts listening to the masculine, that’s when things start falling apart.

Particularly Matthew Maher’s Xavier, the online lure for the predators. When he starts telling Chris in his desperation that he might have a whale, a senator or someone higher, Chris listens because it’s what he wants to hear. This leads them to Fort Worth, Texas and the ending of the film.

They set up their sting house, they think that they’ve been had and that the perp got away. He hasn’t, he shows up as planned but it’s not the one they’re looking for. Chris is left destroyed by this and is lying on the floor. Dan has to step up and takes over Chris’ role.

They finally get a lead on their whale and it’s the local district attorney. He’s too smart though and won’t go to the trap house. So they go to him.

The masculine takes over here with the local police showing off their very phallic guns and weaponry. Earlier, a man on a plane is talking to Chris about how he would just kill the predators. Chris is obviously disturbed by this and redirects saying that what he does is far worse. He gives speeches about pillories and other type devices for public shaming.

The descent on the district attorney’s house is like watching a hostage situation. Every police officer seemingly in the county is there. They’re driving armored personnel carriers. When they get there, he’s holed up in his house. The police breach the door and in full view of Chris Hansen. He shoots himself in the head.

Chris at this point has been left with no suit, just an opened white shirt showing a bulletproof vest. His mind broken either by the stress he’s put himself under or the that he just saw a man die, he mumbles his lines. Reading the transcript and going through his usual dialogue. The movie ends with “What would have happened if I wasn’t here?” as he’s left alone. Before this, his wife confronts him about getting reached out to by the National Enquirer. That she has an inkling of knowledge about the cheating. The last thing he says to her during the film is “You’re going to be so proud of me”.

The character of Andie is being courted by other channels. Particularly ABC. We see her fortunes change as much as Chris’ and she has a glimmer of hope that the district attorney is going to pan out for them. She is often annoyed by Hansen’s eccentricity and downright angry when she realizes that she can’t control him and that he might cost her a job.

The nature of art is to make you think. I haven’t stopped thinking about Primetime since I saw it on Friday. I think the movie is intelligent for not leaning one way or another on what it thinks about Chris Hansen as a person. Maybe others will see something that I don’t. But I think it presents you a deeply flawed man and you can decide for yourself who he is.

It’s a fascinating watch and I think you should check it out. Pattinson is on an all star run and honestly think he should get at least an Oscar nod for his performance here.

UGH… and thank you doesthedogdie.com

(Spoilers for the End of Oak Street)

Readers, I write to you in a positive snit. An absolute snit. Let me quickly make sure that word isn’t problematic. Okay, I’m back. It’s good.

I just wanted to watch Anne Hathaway and Ewan McGregor fight dinosaurs. That’s all I wanted. I was there. I was sat. I was ready.

The movie starts and it’s kind of boring in that it’s hyper realistic in the tension between a pair of people that have been married for far too long. Alright, I’m okay with a slow start.

The boy in the family owns a cute dog. Okay, quick check at doesthedogdie.com and I can see that the the dog is fine. Cool, let’s keep going.

The weird flashing lights happen and the beginning of dinosaurs start appearing. The daughter of the family is sitting on the roof reading and she sees a cat run across the street. The cat yowls. Okay, that’s not great but as long as I don’t have to see it, it’s fine. Back to https://www.doesthedogdie.com/ and…

Son of a bitch.

I tell my sister and we get up. We don’t demand our money back, we just leave. Thank you Regal Pass for making the great loss about 53 cents.

I don’t know why movies need to do this. It’s so unnecessary. I’ve been writing for the last twenty-seven years and besides my heroes fighting monsters or like bears in the wild, I’ve never had to have a dog or cat get killed. I just find it so stupid. You can just have them kill a person. Who cares about a person?

That makes me sound like a psychopath and I don’t care. Because I know that while I don’t like seeing people die in video games and thus have mostly been playing Tetris and simulator games lately, for the most parts those are pretty bloodless and simple deaths. A bullet hole appears, a person falls over. I’m not into the Eli Roth Hostel, graphic shit. I hate that too.

I know storytellers should be allowed to tell a story the way they want to but I just don’t like seeing it. I’m writing this as my two cats hang around me and I would set the world aflame if someone did something to them.

I just think that it should be part of the rating with the strong blood violence and drug use warnings.

Despite being in a horrendous, annoyed snit about all of this, I want to thank those that put in the hard work at https://www.doesthedogdie.com/ so that I didn’t have to see something that would upset me.

You can call me a wuss for leaving a movie over this and I don’t care. Stop using that as an intensifier. It sucks.

Baby Assassins Review

We like making movies about assassins because it combines what we all have to do(a job) with the fantasy that we have when we see a zombie movie(to take care of your problems through killing). We use that to tell stories about the human condition. John Wick trying to escape his life of murder only for it to cling and drag him back. The same thing with the Professional. Kill Bill. Okay, so maybe there’s only one real assassination plot. Someone wants to live but their hands are stained with blood and they can’t get away from the things they did.

Well, what if that didn’t happen. What if the two assassins didn’t care and were just kind of happy living their lives as killers? What if they were just lazy slackers when they weren’t killing? And that’s what Baby Assassins is in a nutshell.

Chisato and Mahiro, a pair of assassins, are told by their handler that they need to get part time jobs to make sure that the taxman doesn’t come looking for them. Unfortunately, beyond killing they’re not good at much else. We see Chisato working at a waffle place, she can’t quite get the whipped cream on the waffle as well as she’s supposed to. She puts in it in front of the customer and he states that he doesn’t like whipped cream and gives it to his date. Seeing her hard work cast aside, she screams at him “What the fuck is your problem?!” and slaps him with her tray. The owner comes over and using her bare hands, Chisato breaks her neck. Always with a bright smile on her face after she’s committed the violence.

This becomes the tone for the entire film. There is a subplot where Mahiro doesn’t think that she can fit in with anyone in society so she doesn’t see the point of trying. Chisato manages to succeed at a maid cafe until the subplot pops in. The subplot being a yakuza trying to modernize his operation by welcoming women into the fold. A male and female yakuza member are trying to find out who killed one of their members and guess what it’s the girls. The girls barely acknowledge what’s going on with the yakuza until the end of the movie.

The movie knows what it’s about. It knows that the true heart of the film is the two assassins and sticks with them throughout all of it. Their relationship is actually generally sweet and reminded me a lot of Buddy Daddies minus the child(I would not trust Chisato and Mahiro with a kid). It has good action, it’s interesting and a breath of fresh air where most action stars are giant hulking dudes who are good at everything, you have these two gremlins who are barely functional.

If you’re looking for a chill time, watch it on Tubi or Youtube. I highly recommend it.

Plus the director does a rad thing where he made another film that’s in the same universe called A Janitor and the two women appear as antagonists. But unlike the movie, Ballerina, which did that so that John Wick could show up and tell the protagonist what a good job she’s doing, they just appear to be road blocks for the main character.

Review: Honey Don’t!

Last Friday I saw the movie, Honey Don’t! and I thoroughly enjoyed it. This is my second time hanging out with Margaret Qualley under Ethan Coen’s direction. She’s just as charming as she was in Drive Away Dolls though this Margaret Qualley is working with much more focus than her counterpart.

Before we go further, I’m going to talk spoilers. I think you should see this movie, it’s interesting, beautifully shot and whip smart.

Now for those that are still here, this isn’t a detective story, it’s a story about a detective. The titular Honey doesn’t solve a single mystery. Half the time she can’t even get any traction before the person she’s looking for gets killed. What we have are several stories that are intersecting with Honey at their middle.

It gives such a real life feel to the film. The way that we pass in and out of each other’s lives but the story goes on only vaguely affected by our presence.

Honey is investigating the death of a young woman that was supposed to be her client. She finds out that she went to this church run by Reverend Drew, who is played by Chris Evans returning to his early roles of funny douchebag. Reverend Drew is part of a secret drug dealing operation run by Cher, the representative of “the French”. Given what happens to him and how he affects the story, he’s a villain for sure but not really an antagonist to Honey. His sins eventually catch up to him without any intervention on Honey’s part.

There are also two cops that are played by Charlie Day and Aubrey Plaza. Charlie isn’t given much to do besides sexually harass the lesbian Honey, which I think is probably this film’s one misstep. However, Aubrey presents a stranger, more sinister vibe from the introduction of her character.

The dialogue is whip smart and funny. Ethan makes do with the location of the American southwest in the same way him and his brother did for No Country For Old Men. And that kind of fits into all of this, if you like that movie, I think you’ll enjoy this. If you haven’t seen any other Coen brothers movies, I can recommend all of them including this one.

From the World of John Wick: Ballerina Review

The new John Wick movie came out but it’s not starring Keanu Reeves as John Wick. He’s there but he’s more of a supporting character. It’s still a tale of revenge but instead of it being about a cute puppy and cool car, it’s the more generic “my name is Eve Macarro you killed my father prepare to die” variety. I think as a John Wick movie it stands up to the rest of them but just like the fourth one, I found myself a little fatigued by the end of it. There’s just so much violence.

You might be saying, that’s the point, it’s a John Wick film, that’s kind of the point. But the first John Wick film had very clean violence. They’ve become more brutal as they’ve gone on and I think it’s all for the worst.

I was admittedly coming into this film with a rather negative outlook. I didn’t enjoy the fourth John Wick film, mostly because it had the problems of being way too long and there was a twenty minute sequence where people just won’t let John Wick walk up some stairs to get to the end of the film. It was slow and boring. It didn’t have any of the style that the other parts did.

The plot of Ballerina is that Ana de Armas’ character, Eve, is trying to avenge her father’s murder at the hands of group of killers. She joins a criminal organization pretending to be a ballerina she’s trained to become a killer-protector. She runs into a former member of this group whose trying to protect his daughter and when he’s incapacitated and his daughter taken, Eve sets out to find the girl and get revenge.

Ballerina didn’t really surprise me except in a few points, though it did improve my feelings towards the series on a whole. Firstly, I think Ana de Armas carries this film throughout and works as an action star. They don’t sexualize her character that much, she’s wearing a dress with a long slit in her first mission but after that she’s completely covered. They make a point that she’s smaller and weaker than most of the male opponents she’s going to have to face. They adapt her fighting style to that and she manages quite well.

It also does something fun with a lot of tried and true concepts in action films. She’s leaving a mission and we get a long shot of her car pulling away. Suddenly, her car is T-boned and pushed backwards and the camera pans down to show the gunfight. It’s an amazing shot.

Secondly, we’re so used to gun shop scenes where someone is showing off the hardware that the character is going to use throughout the rest of the film. This is usually a safe space but suddenly, Eve and the gun shop owner are attacked. I thought that was a good undermining of stereotypes and trope. The fight is one of the more brutal ones considering it’s mostly made up of grenade kills.

Then comes the flamethrower, which I was not a fan of. Watching people flail around burning is not fun. There’s a reason that these weapons are considered war crimes by the Geneva convention. There’s a point where her opponent who also has a flamethrower, his leg catches on fire and he uses his flaming leg to kick at her. It’s so goofy but kind of fun. Then we get a fire hose vs flamethrower fight and there’s no other way I can put this but it’s a Dragonball Z beam struggle.

The thing is, I think that this movie missed a big chance to have her father’s killer be John Wick. I think it would fit into the concept of the world that John Wick has to suffer for the things that he’s done. The two could come to terms with the lives they both live. I understand why they did it this way, is because they need to have Eve have an enemy that they can build a franchise around.

It also shows that Eve is not that good of a person. She doesn’t particularly care about the girl instead focusing on her own mission. I think that that’s a fun characterization for her as an assassination and adds a new depth to her character’s worldview.

Overall, I think it was a pretty good film that deserves a watch. Maybe do a double feature with Sinners.