I’ve had this idea for a long time and while I think that American remakes are terrible, I think that this would be fun. For those that don’t know, Attack on Titan is a show where what remains of humanity are locked inside of a group of walls to save them from the Titans, massive naked humanoids that seek to eat them.

I watched the first season and most of the second but then found out that the main characters become fascists and gave up on it after that. There was a live action movie, which I saw with my friends and it sucked. The thing about these movies is that technology is stuck somewhere in the realm of I want to say revolutionary era America. Guns are single shot and not that useful. Also, titans have to be killed by having the back of their necks sliced open. They do this by using swords and something called ODM gear to swing them around the city while they fight.

That part is sick as hell. So, now that we have all that backstory, what’s the big idea I’ve had? Simple. They should make a remake of this, hype all the big names in it, all the best talent in Hollywood. Show them in the gear.

Then murder all of them immediately.

Jenna Ortega, eaten. Tom Holland, knocked out of the sky and eaten. Brad Pitt, stomped on.

Just a full ten minutes of popular Hollywood actors getting merced to show that no one in the franchise is safe. After that, start the actual movie with a group of unknown actors. Maybe make Inde Navarrette the Mikasa Ackerman substitute. I don’t know.

You have to subvert expectations because the original show does that so well. Especially for…

Click here to reveal spoiler!

In the fifth episode of the show, Eren Yeager the protagonist gets eaten by a Titan, the first time he tries to fight.

Anyway, that’s what I would do. But we don’t need anymore live action anime remakes especially because Jordan Peele had the beautiful and talented Keke Palmer perform an Akira slide in Nope and that kind of won for best anime adaption of all time.