Tag Archives: exercise

I’m So Brave

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Followers of this blog will know that I’ve been trying to get into shape and be healthier. To that end, I keep trying to find the perfect workout routine. The one that I’ve fallen into is going to the gym and doing some weight lifting and then the elliptical for an increasing number of minutes. The other two days of the week, I go swimming and because that only takes a few minutes because I can only do a few laps right now, I head up to the track at the community center… and power walk.

This is where the bravery comes in. Because power walking is goofy as hell. It’s a great workout. I really feel it in my legs when I’m done and with my swimming, I’m getting a full body workout. But the way my but wiggles, the way it looks. It just feels embarrassing.

I wanted to find a power walking image to show how goofy it is and instead I found that badass lady with tattoos

I’m never one though to turn away from embarrassment as long as it’s not me being a jerk to someone. Being racist or homophobic would be truly embarrassing. So, the other week, I just hopped on the track and started power walking. And you know what I realized?

No one fucking cares. No one said anything besides to nod good morning to me. I boogied my way around that track for thirty minutes, worked up a sweat and left. No one said anything.

There was a woman that was twenty years my senior and she dusted me though. Lapping me multiple times. You might think that’s embarrassing but I assume she’s been doing it a lot longer. You know what she is though? She’s my rival. I have to get better at power walking to make sure that I can beat her. She doesn’t know about our rivalry but it exists. Oh yes, does it exist.

Just to be clear about my workout plan, it’s this:

Monday- Swimming/Power walking

Tuesday- Weight lifting/elliptical

Wednesday- Rest

Thursday- Weight lifting/Elliptical

Friday- Swimming/Power walking

Saturday- Yoga if I’m around for it, a walk if not

Sunday- Pedal machine under desk while I play video games or watch TV at least 45 minutes

I’ll let you know how this goes. I might change up some things so that my body doesn’t get so used to the routine. I also have daily exercises that I do just as a little added bonus. Those are:

25- Bicycle crunches with ankle and arm weights

10- Bird dogs with ankle and arm weights

25- Side jumping jacks

10- Pushups(Admittedly, I can only do these on my knees so far but I’m going to work my way up)

30 Seconds total of planking

5 Minutes of Dance

These numbers will increase with my endurance and other things. I’ll post my dance mix tape in another post.

Working Out Again

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Sometimes I can’t think of some dumb, nerdy shit to write about so I just want to give an update on something else. I’ve been trying to work out more again and this has taken the form of going on more walks as well as using my under desk pedaler more often. My legs have been feeling better, like they feel more energetic if that makes any sense. It’s like they’re constantly asking me to let them kick through something.

I’ve neglected my arms so they get much more achey these days when I have to lift or exercise them. I’m going to be working on that so that I can get them back into punching shape. Not that I want to be able to punch people but there’s nothing quite like having a bad day and then taking it out on the bag. Better than taking it out on a person, anyway.

As for my belly, I’ve started doing daily bicycle crunches and my word they hurt. I know that’s where I got most of the air in my spare tire and I also know that crunches alone aren’t going to fix it. You have to do everything so that my body will start pulling from other fat sources to power me. I added bird dogs, push ups, jumping jacks and this weird cross leg thing to my daily workouts as well. If I do nothing else, I do that.

I’ve kept up with the beet juice from a different post and that led me to a very interesting doctor’s office visit. With my newfound vegetarianism, came an unexpected side effect, intense internal gas in my stomach. I had a doctor’s appointment and told my doctor about this. She mentioned that eating healthier does lead you to have more gas. It was like having your dentist praise how well you floss. I rode that high for a few days.

She told me to stop the beet juice for a week to see if that fixed things. It did but she wanted me to continue it because of how healthy it was. It was then that I learned what the issue actually was. The night before my doctor’s appointment, I had realized I had forgotten my daily beet juice so I drank it and went to bed. That was the issue, the gas in the beet juice had nowhere to go. So it just made my tum-tum all upset. Since then I’ve been using the beet juice basically as a pre-workout drink so that I can keep it moving through my system. It’s really helped.

I haven’t seen any results because why would I? This has only been like three days. It’s like that baboon said to Bojack Horseman. “It gets easier every day. But that’s the trick, you have to do it everyday.”