Followers of this blog will know that I’ve been trying to get into shape and be healthier. To that end, I keep trying to find the perfect workout routine. The one that I’ve fallen into is going to the gym and doing some weight lifting and then the elliptical for an increasing number of minutes. The other two days of the week, I go swimming and because that only takes a few minutes because I can only do a few laps right now, I head up to the track at the community center… and power walk.

This is where the bravery comes in. Because power walking is goofy as hell. It’s a great workout. I really feel it in my legs when I’m done and with my swimming, I’m getting a full body workout. But the way my but wiggles, the way it looks. It just feels embarrassing.

I’m never one though to turn away from embarrassment as long as it’s not me being a jerk to someone. Being racist or homophobic would be truly embarrassing. So, the other week, I just hopped on the track and started power walking. And you know what I realized?

No one fucking cares. No one said anything besides to nod good morning to me. I boogied my way around that track for thirty minutes, worked up a sweat and left. No one said anything.

There was a woman that was twenty years my senior and she dusted me though. Lapping me multiple times. You might think that’s embarrassing but I assume she’s been doing it a lot longer. You know what she is though? She’s my rival. I have to get better at power walking to make sure that I can beat her. She doesn’t know about our rivalry but it exists. Oh yes, does it exist.

Just to be clear about my workout plan, it’s this:

Monday- Swimming/Power walking

Tuesday- Weight lifting/elliptical

Wednesday- Rest

Thursday- Weight lifting/Elliptical

Friday- Swimming/Power walking

Saturday- Yoga if I’m around for it, a walk if not

Sunday- Pedal machine under desk while I play video games or watch TV at least 45 minutes

I’ll let you know how this goes. I might change up some things so that my body doesn’t get so used to the routine. I also have daily exercises that I do just as a little added bonus. Those are:

25- Bicycle crunches with ankle and arm weights

10- Bird dogs with ankle and arm weights

25- Side jumping jacks

10- Pushups(Admittedly, I can only do these on my knees so far but I’m going to work my way up)

30 Seconds total of planking

5 Minutes of Dance

These numbers will increase with my endurance and other things. I’ll post my dance mix tape in another post.