Moving On

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Since the last post on this page, I have moved into my own apartment for the first time in my life and I’ve celebrated a birthday. This is my first post in this apartment.

It’s a strange thing to walk into a home and know that everything inside of it is yours alone. It reminds me of when I was a kid and started working for the first time at 15. The Playstation 2 had just come out and I had seen the groundbreaking Grand Theft Auto 3. A game bigger than anything I had ever seen before, with 3D graphics and it allowed you to go anywhere.

I wanted it so badly. I had saved up enough money from my part time job at McDonalds. I was so scared and nervous back then being around people. I would honestly want to do that again now. There were so many big personalities.

But anyway, I was a little bit persistent for my dad to drive me to my local video game store. He eventually did and then we had to go get the composite cables for it. My dad was a good sport about it. But I remember holding that PS2 in my hands and I said to him.

“This is mine. I earned this. No one can take this from me.”

And that’s how I feel sitting in my apartment. I took a risk going back to school and through some hard work and a lot of luck, I’ve landed a job that can keep me afloat. The apartment is mine to do with what I want. I’ve built a reading nest in my living room. The temperature is mine to control. I can walk three feet into my apartment after work and my pants are gone. It’s a wonderful feeling.

The other thing I can do is be creative in a way that I never was before. I got self conscious playing my guitar when my roommates could hear. Now I can play whenever I want as long as I don’t bother my neighbors. Fortunately, the soundproofing seems to be pretty good. I haven’t heard anything from them but I don’t want to push buttons.

It’s a nice feeling and I’m going to chase it.

The Spider-Man Factor: Make Your Hero Suck(a little bit)

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Batman prepares. Batman is always prepared. Superman can do anything. These are the reasons that these characters are loved and people think they’re boring. They’ve lasted for so long. But it’s also been said they’re hard to write for.

There is a problem in DC where super powers can become so godlike that it becomes hard to think of challenges for them. The great cry in every MCU movie is “Why don’t you just call the Avengers?” well, in DC it becomes “Why does anyone try anything when Superman is around? Or Shazam? Or the Green Lanterns?”. There are so many massive threats that it’s ridiculous that anything other than God coming down to throw down with the heroes of Earth.

Marvel understands this and has kept most of their heroes “street level”. They are only able to do so much. It’s why people can become fearful of mutants. Some mutants are known as Omega level and that means that they can destroy the world if they so want. In my eyes, that just means that they’re on the same level as Superman.

When Spider-man fucks up, you can say, well that’s just who Spider-man is. He’s powerful, super strong and fast. But you could probably kill him with a small army and some air support. There’s a reason that his villains to bring him down didn’t need to ascend to god level, they just had to come at him all at once.

You can see this in Supernatural, the boys hunt monsters and all these things for near two decades during the run of the show. However, they’re still idiots and that makes them compelling. Because even the best fuck up.

That’s how you should be able to write Batman and Superman but people think of them being too perfect. Too powerful. That’s why one of the most loved versions of Batman is the one from the animated series. He’s a human. He’s smarter and stronger than the average human but he can still get stabbed by the Joker.

We don’t want Gods. We want good people doing good things. A hero shouldn’t stand above you but with you. They should be selfless and kind and inspire you to do the same. There is of course some variation to keep them interesting but that’s what a hero does.

It’s something that I try and put in my writing. I write the person first and then figure out what their power would do to them. Would it make them good? Bad? Corrupt? That’s up to what happens when I put finger to key and pen to paper.

One of My Favorite Moments in Teen Writing

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My buddy Donnie and I have been recording episodes of our podcast I Hope I Can Make It Through for some time. For those that don’t know, it focuses on the show Degrassi the Next Generation, which focuses on the kids from the earlier Degrassi iterations. If you look at it a certain way, the whole series is about Emma Nelson. Her mom, Spike, was a teen mom in the first series and we see her grow up in the Next Generation.

And that’s what brings me to one of my favorite moments. It comes from the episode, Coming of Age. You see, Emma Nelson is an opinionated environmentalist and activist. Her friend, Manny Santos, who deserves far better than she ever got, just kind of wants to have fun and chase boys.

In this episode, Emma starts experiencing mood swings and doesn’t understand what’s happening to her. At one moment, she finds herself sitting on a bench. She gets up to go to class and Manny yanks her back down. Emma has started her period for the first time and it’s stained her white skirt. They walk awkwardly to the restroom, Manny trailing behind her, holding a magazine against the back of her skirt.

They don’t have any spare clothes so Manny goes looking for her. Emma hears someone enter and it’s the queen bee, Paige. When Emma tells her it’s her first time, Paige’s tune changes immediately. She says that she has a spare pad and offers it to her. They discuss growing up and Emma laments no longer being a kid. Emma worries about becoming Paige and with a characteristic bit of wit Paige responds:

Paige: Please, you wish.

Manny returns with a giant pair of gym shorts. They go to class to give a book report in front of the room. Manny desperately holding up the giant pair of shorts. Two boys, Toby and JT who would get better when they get older joke that Emma might have wet her pants. Emma snaps back that she got her period for the first time and it’s perfectly natural. They proceed to give their book report.

I love these two scenes. Girl friendships! Girls supporting girls! Awkward high schoolers. It has everything. For me, that’s when this show really shines. Manny and Emma don’t interact as much as they get phased out for the next group of characters. However, I’ll always remember this as the peak.

When Do We Start Putting Neo in Front of City Names

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For the most part, it’s only been used for Neo-Tokyo from Akira. It’s such a cool prefix to depict a city that has been through something and is now firmly in the future. Unfortunately for Akira’s Tokyo, it had to go through a terrible event.

Same as Neon Genesis Evangelion where Tokyo is now Tokyo-3. Still cool but not as cool as Neo-Tokyo. Now, what are we going to do etymology-wise with the various cities in America, which are already new versions of English cities and towns. Let’s run through a few and see how we feel.

Neo-Boston- I feel like this is a good start. It does make me think of people screaming about the Sox but they’re wearing like Geordi LaForge glasses. Would Boston make a good spaceport? I think so.

Neo New York City- That’s just ungainly. I think it would be best if it was Neo-York City. Actually, typing that out that I’m not so sure about that. Then it feels like it’s giving all the joy to York and ignoring the whole part of New York City. NNYC. Okay, reneging on what I said before, I think that Neo New York City is the way to go.

Neo Intercourse- Yes, yes, yes. This is the way to go. So, for those who love map based humor, knows that there is a town in Pennsylvania called Intercourse. Renaming it Neo Intercourse gives it the idea of future love sex. Let me touch you with my cybernetic arm. Then we’ll plug into the net with our VR headsets and engage in a roundtable about funk music.

Neo-Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch- Okay, this one is a no brainer. We need to find a way to make this town’s name even more confounding and long. Really put the following gentleman through his paces.

Neo London- This is also a home run like Boston. It feels like all the bleak futurism of London comics is coming starkly through with this name. There would definitely be zeppelins.

I’m going to revisit what the future versions of cities would be like but how do we arrive? In the altered words of David Byrne, how do I get there? Well, I think we need to move away from a pessimistic outlook that leads to Neo-places.

I think when a city becomes utopian and producing renewable energy that’s the badge of honor they get. Greenways, windmills and solar panels.

Join me soon in Neo-Silent Hill! Where Pyramid Head has a hoverboard and iPhone.

A High School Reunion

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I show up hoping that for once in my life I’ll impress someone

It’s important tonight, out of spite

I wish that I could see the people I want

But they don’t show up to these things

Instead, the rest of us talk about

What could have been

And what was

They play songs that were new back then

They make us a little sad

Like the memories we’re bringing up

I think about the ones that didn’t make it

One in particular

I wonder if she thought about me at all

It’s still all about me

Maybe I deserved this bittersweet ending

You Can’t Break This Stallion’s Terrible Handwriting

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I’ve always had terrible handwriting. Even now as an adult, nothing has really changed. I write down the magic items in my DND campaign and half the time have to read it for my players.

When I was younger, they gave me extra writing homework to try and improve my handwriting. It never worked. No matter how many sentences I wrote. Cursive? Forget it. The only cursive I could handle was the loud band that sang about terrible relationships.

I had a thought today about why my handwriting was so terrible. I think it’s because I get really excited whenever I get the chance to do it. It’s the same reason that my typing is so full of typos. I’m kind of like those dogs that sprain their tails from wagging them too hard.

I thought about practicing it more but outside of the working world and my DND players, no one else reads my handwriting but me. Anything I do creatively I do in a word processor. I keep a diary so it’s a good way to make sure that no one reads that either. I think that was an episode of Doug.

When I have to write a love letter again, I’ll make sure to take my time.

Some of My Favorite RPG First Enemies

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So, you’re an adventurer that’s setting out from your most likely recently burned down village. Maybe you got exiled. Who knows. You’re going to encounter monsters on the road. What they’re going to be varies from game to game but for the most part you’re going to easily be able to strike them down.

Despite this, they serve an important role. They’re there to show you how to fight and how the mechanics work. They’re the unsung heroes of the RPG world. So, I want to take some time to highlight some of my favorites.

  1. The Rabite from Secret of Mana

WHY DO I HAVE TO FIGHT THESE THINGS? They’re not going to be the only cute thing that I have to kill on this list but they’re extra cute the way they hop around. They will do a little tackle on you but who can blame them? They just want to be your friend. Still, I done smacked them down. They usually left behind candy. Just great little friends.

2. Rattatas and Pidgeys- Pokemon Red/Blue/Green and FireRed/LeafGreen

It’s luck of the draw, depending on which one of these that you get when you first leave Pallet Town. But both of them are wonderful to run into, because unlike a lot of the other monsters on this list, these are waiting to be your friends. Usually, my first Pidgey becomes my main form of transportation as I fly across the map. Meanwhile, Rattata became a Raticate and his hyper fang carried me through a good portion of the game.

They were also the first two Pokemon I ever caught in my entire Pokemon career. And you never forget your first.

3. Slimes From Breath of Fire

A normal ass slime that has no features. He’s just kind of there to get hit and disappear. Later in the game you encounter gold slimes who give you plentiful amounts of experience and money. No bells and whistles to it. So, why would I even put this on the list? To showcase the next entry.

4. Slime From Dragon Quest

I have killed a lot of these little guys and I hate it every time. Look at that face! He’s just here to be a little guy. It just has so much personality. It makes sense that this little guy became the face of the franchise. So cute. Love you, slime! Thank you for all your hard work.

Now the question is, whose cuter? This slime or the rabite? I can’t choose. You can’t make me!

(It was then that the author ran from his room and into the middle distance to start a new life)

5. Spiteful Crow from Earthbound

Look at this dude. So, cool. Those shades and that bow tie make this little guy stand out. They attack by pecking at your eyes, which to be fair is a spiteful move. However they also throw you a cookie when you return them to normal. That can make a big difference when you have lower HP levels. Maybe they’re not that spiteful, just a little bit spiteful.

6. Lying Hablerie from Persona 4 and Persona 4 Golden

There’s not enough space on this blog to point out how weird the Shin Megami Tensei/Persona games are. But Frank, you might say, there’s infinite amounts of space on the internet.

Exactly.

These things fly up and lick your handsome chad face. Still Izanagi dispatches them easily.

May Your Historical Impact Be Better Than Nanni

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As a lover of history, I’ve always thought about the fact that I will never be featured in any history books or accounts. No one will write down my actions as important or memorable. What’s to be said about Franklin Cota on this day in history?

“Historians believed that he ate a lot of Cool Ranch Doritos and took a long nap. He did not brush the crumbs off himself before he fell asleep. He woke up and ate the crumbs and fell back asleep. He didn’t like himself after the nap.”

People from the past who were unable to get basic spices would say that I lived like a king! Napping and eating full bags of Christmas color flecked corn chips. People from the nearer past would say that I’m a gluttonous loser who ate a whole bag of chips in one sitting and fell asleep. They’re both right!

Still, for all the embarrassing I’ve done, am doing and will do, I will be blessedly forgotten. I will not be remembered as Nanni, the ancient Karen who is the first person in known history to issue a written customer complaint from 1750BCE.

But was he a Karen? Reading through the complaint, it seems that he had legitimate gripes with copper merchant Ea-Nasir. Who seems to have not delivered his copper ingots despite receiving payments and also was rude to his servant! Every good boss I’ve ever had has gone to bat for me. Nanni understands the plight of the workers underneath him.

And what he wants is pretty reasonable. He wants other his fine quality copper or his money back. He’s not demanding anyone get arrested or anything like that. He just wants Ea-Nasir to fulfill his end of the bargain.

Maybe there’s something to be said about that. He ended up in the history books because he was the first at something. It wasn’t something that we like but how would we have known about Nanni otherwise?

If you want to learn more about Nanni and Ea-Nasir’s feud, you can find it at the source of this post:

https://www.thearchaeologist.org/blog/complaint-tablet-to-ea-nasir-the-oldest-recorded-customer-complaint

Reading Books is Like Falling in love

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When I walk amongst the shelves of the library it’s like I’m the pretty girl walking into the bar. All eyes are on me. Each book telling me to pick them. Asking to come home with me.

I pick out a few each time, usually returning the others. I have a two week stand with one. I can’t get it out of my head. I want to understand every inch of it. Explore it from end to end.

You never know when you’re going to fall in love. You never know what a book is going to do to you. There are ones that I barely remember. Lovers that didn’t register. But then there are others. Ones that stick with me. Stay on my skin. I can still recall them to this day.

I hold them in my memories. A warm, pleasant thing for cold, lonely days. I don’t know if I’ll ever love a book the way I love that one. I don’t know if it’ll ever come back around to it.

But like others, I’m going to keep trying. I’ll kiss a thousand frogs to find another prince. Because unlike humans, books don’t let you down in the same way. They at least take you on a little trip first. Instead of just leaving you alone in your bed and don’t call you back.