Tag Archives: books

What I would want from an Animorphs TV show

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https://variety.com/2026/tv/news/animorphs-tv-series-disney-plus-ryan-coogler-1236678435/

In the above link, you can find a story that Ryan Coogler’s production company is in possible works to make an Animorphs TV show. They did it before and it was not that great. The andalites just shoved each other around instead of fighting with their tails. They barely morphed throughout the series because it took too much money to handle the animals. Let’s take some time and I’ll talk to you about what I want in the series.

  1. Animated

I like real animals as much as the next guy but c’mon, it would be very expensive and dangerous to have the Animorphs’ battle morphs on set at the same time. They are in no particular order tiger, bear, gorilla, wolf and red tailed hawk. Along with whatever nonsense they’re going to do for the andalites. That’s going to be no small task in live action, I mean look at these things:

The solution, I think is turning it into animation. We’ve had some great serious animation like with Invincible and Primal and I think that this would make it easier to do some of the major sci-fi things and animal violence without involving real animals.

I’m not sure what kind of style I would do it in, maybe a more realistic one. Considering the anti-war messages, I think having some starkness to it would be better. People have mentioned Invincible and I think that’s the best option. Realistic but then body horror during the morphing. I would love to see everyone’s reactions to the things that we had to see in our mind’s eyes when we were kids reading these books. Behold that time Jake’s tiger morph nearly got eaten by fire ants. Behold that time Marco’s gorilla morph had skin ripped off from the ice that he landed on in the arctic in book 25. Those are just the ones off the top of my head.

2. Make every book a two part episode

I’m not talking two hour long episodes but instead the way they split up the original Justice League cartoon episodes. We’re sticking with that this is in animation and hopefully less to produce. Plus, it would make sure that there’s enough time for the entire book to get covered. Such as with book 6 where Jake gets a yeerk in his ear after a mission. There’s a part in the book, where Ax realizes what’s going on before anyone else and whips his tail up against Jake’s throat screaming <YEERK!>. Boom, episode end.

The next episode starts with Jake being locked in the shed that he would spend the rest of the book in. There’s not much in these books but you do need to give them room to breath. Which brings me to my next point…

3. Make room for more characterization

There’s not much downtime in an Animorphs book. You know enough about the kids that I can give you their personality traits. They would also always have a little adventure in the beginning as in one of the books they go to the circus and free the animals because Cassie hated the circus.

It would be great to get some little best friend moments between the two friendships, Jake and Marco and Rachel and Cassie respectively. Have some moments where we see Tobias going about his day as a hawk and maybe when he can get the chance to morph again, showing him getting used to being a human. Going on little adventures with Ax possibly. Hanging at the mall, which brings me into another point…

4. Place in its time period of the mid to late 90s

It’s going to be difficult to keep the secret of the Animorphs in the modern age. Sure, you could explain away kids morphing by saying it’s AI but that’s only going to last for so long. Plus, if they don’t have access to a whole bunch of other things like Uber and cell phones, it can help hype up the tension. Plus, there aren’t many good things that came out of the late nineties or early aughts. Give them something.

5. Keep the enemies mysterious

On Battlestar Galactica, we got three and a half seasons of the Cylons being an overarching and mysterious threat to the colonists. Then we started getting plot lines on the basestar, which were okay but for me never had the same impact as the human storylines. It did however showcase their eventual change throughout the series into what they would become in the end. A completely different entity. I don’t need to know what Visser Three gets up to in his spare time. The Yeerks should not get the same characterization as the children. Let them just be a threat.

In conclusion, I’m excited by the idea but it’s going to take a lot to make me think this is viable. Animorphs is a tough nut to crack off of the page. I wouldn’t be surprised if this didn’t make it past the planning stages.

The Genius of the Power is Power scene

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A bit of a primer for this scene is that Petyr Baelish is trying to play the Lannisters, here represented by Cersei. He mentions the fact that Cersei is sleeping with her twin brother, Jaime and that he can use that knowledge to harm them. Thus, him telling her that knowledge is power. What follows is Cersei demonstrating that it’s hard to tell people what you know when a guard cuts your throat.

My God, the writing was strong back in the early seasons. But of course those are just words on a page. You need talent to bring them to life. Aiden Gillan brings slimy heat to Petyr but of course, it’s Lena Headey that’s the MVP of this scene. She moves from overwhelmingly powerful to flippantly violent. The way she laughs as she says “I’ve changed my mind”. She then instructs her guards to close their eyes.

Maybe it’s the tone of her voice or just everything we’ve just seen, but we know that they’ve closed those eyes without having to take away from them being random faceless guards. I don’t remember if this scene is in the books but if it was, I would have something in there about Petyr knowing that the guards had obeyed her without having to see their faces.

It’s not just the absolute loyalty that the guards have whether through fear or pay, but the pettiness. Her playing these guards like they’re her toys. And the fact that she turned on a dime from a normal conversation to getting ready to spill someone’s blood in the middle of the palace. Because she knows no one will say a god damn thing.

In the later seasons as she made mistake after mistake and then more mistakes trying to fix those first mistakes, it’s hard to remember this Cersei. The one that seemed to be confident and capable. But that’s generally what I think makes villains interesting as they realize that their plans were always stupid and doomed to fail. Kind of like Randall Flagg from Stephen King’s novels. At the end of the Stand, he wasn’t that much. Same as Cersei who couldn’t stop what was coming. Of course that ending sucked but… you have to take what you get.

say hi to your dog for me

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Lorelei had been driving around with the bumper sticker from WeRateDogs on the back of her car for the last two years. She wasn’t a dog owner but she was a fan of dogs. She would go to the parks and watch people walking their dogs. Wishing she had the room or time for one. Not right now. Not until she got her promotion and had more control over her time. Soon. Soon.

She pulled up to the light and sat there. She knew this light and that she was going to be there for a long time. At least it was a nice day. Bright and clear. There weren’t too many folks on the road.

With a rev of an enormous engine, a pick up truck pulled behind her. It then revved again and pulled up next to her. She heard the sonorous sound of the horn and glanced over.

The man sitting in the car next to her was white, bald and wearing wraparound sunglasses. He was smiling a wide smile. She didn’t know what to make of the man. She wondered if he was about to say something to her whether sexual or racist. He kept smiling though.

“Say hi to your dog for me?” he called. “How about you do it yourself.”

He lifted up his hand and Lorelei nearly died. He held a chihuahua in his hand that was small and black and brown. The eyes were bugging out. It was shaking in the hand of its owner. She couldn’t tell if he was scared or just shaking like most chihuahuas do.

“Oh my God, look at that sweet angel,” Lorelei cooed. “What’s their name?”

“Apple pie!” the man called back friendly.

The light finally turned green.

“You two have a wonderful day,” Lorelei called after him as the man lowered Apple Pie back to their seat.

He gave her a friendly wave and drove through the light. Lorelei continued with her day as well, feeling a little bit happier. A little bit brighter having seen such a beautiful little one. Such is the power of the dog.

Villains by Necessity by Eve Forward, the classic that should have been

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I’m sure if I was better versed in fantasy I would know that there are several books like this with the same concept. Villains having to do the right thing because the heroes don’t realize they’re dooming the world. But the one I ended up coming across was Villains by Necessity by Eve Forward.

From the cover, you know this book is going to rock. Our concept is simple, a wizard Mizzamir and his band of heroes saved the world by killing a great evil. Mizzamir has also started using his powers to forcefully remove the want to do evil from people. Because of that, nights are growing shorter and lighter. The world is “whiting out” as it were but no one can think that because everything is so much better.

Enter two of our villains Sam and Arcie, a human assassin and depressed dwarf thief, respectively. They get captured and Arcie gives Sam a contract to kill Mizzamir, this motivates Sam to break free and the two of them go on the run. They run into a druid named Kaylana who explains how the world is ending and the way that they can save it, by opening something called the Black Gate. It’ll release evil back into the world and balance it out.

What proceeds is a well written, funny and altogether great story. They encounter a sorceress who just loves being evil but has some real pathos about her, a silent black knight and a centaur bard who doesn’t know much about what’s going on but he is a double agent for the heroes.

It’s just such a bummer that this book didn’t get off the ground and become a series or that Eve didn’t write more than three books(I just found this out, I never actually looked it up until now). Because she’s an excellent writer. The book flows with wonderful character moments, it’s funny(there’s a moment where they encounter a village of Smurflike creatures and do what we all want to do and cuts a tree down so that they get crushed) and she utilizes the concept to its utmost. Just because evil is gone doesn’t mean people are better. And shows that forcing people to change isn’t this great and good thing. That there is a truly horrific cost for all of it. And just because “evil” is gone, doesn’t mean that people are better. There’s an exceptionally well written scene where Sam is out and about at night and hears a woman being sexually assaulted, which he steps in to save her from. This could easily just be a save the cat moment but it then rolls into Sam discovering a power that becomes a major plot point.

Mizzamir is a great villain because he’s not over the top but he’s so sure that he’s right. He looks upon the villains with pity that reeks of hypocrisy and snobbiness. The rest of his crew are more overtly antagonistic towards the villains and seek to harm them. They make for two distinct and interesting antagonists that feel like viable threats.

My main complaint honestly is that some things are not delved into as much as I would like. My sister has told me that she doesn’t need things like that and that it’s a personal issue of mine. Maybe it is but if the main complaint I have for a book is that I want more of it, then it’s something special.

It’s available on kindle and audible so read it if you can. A paperback version will run you about 86 bucks because it was only a first pressing. I got it for about forty back in 2004. I don’t regret spending that at all. Read it and enjoy it my friends.

The First Book I Loved

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I don’t know why this book popped into my head. My thoughts often come at random and without any guidance. I think one of those thoughts was: Brian from the book Hatchet would make a great Animorph. That’s not what I’m going to be talking about in this article but it’s important to tell people where you came from.

Hatchet by Gary Paulsen was a book that resonated with me for some reason. I read it and wanted so badly to be living in the woods by myself with my wits keeping me from starving. As an adult, my heart breaks for that poor boy. He was only about thirteen(same age as the Animorphs) and he had so much happen to him. It’s the same thing like being Batman or Spider-Man, the life itself seems super fun. You don’t consider the implications that that life comes from unbearable loss.

For those that don’t know the book, Brian is given the titular hatchet by his mother because he’s flying out in a small Cessna plane to visit his father on an oil rig. During the flight, the pilot has a heart attack and dies leaving Brian alone. He crashes the plane in the L-shaped lake and swims to shore. The only thing he has are his clothes and his hatchet. He then has to survive in the wilderness and let me see how many trials I can think of that he had to go through: nausea from “gut cherries”, learning how to fish, creating fire, dealing with swarms of mosquitoes, bears, a tornado, nearly drowning in the lake when previously mentioned tornado drags the ship out of the lake and having to dive deep into the water to get his dropped hatchet. Let me head to wikipedia and check… oh I thought the skunk was only in Brian’s Winter but he has to deal with that, along with a bull moose, a pack of wolves and porcupine.

In the original ending, he gets rescued at the end of summer. In the new canonical ending, he has to survive through a Canadian winter because many fans pointed out to the author, that’s the true test. I had read the sequel, the River, which I didn’t like that much. I thought that the premise wasn’t that strong. It had nothing to do with the writing, Gary Paulsen is a master of the form. I’m reading through Brian’s Return and it still brought that same spark as when I read the original.

I’m trying to figure out why that spark hit. Maybe like your first kiss, your first love and all other things, nothing hits like that first one. Well, I think when it comes to kissing it comes down to your first good kiss. There are terrible kisses and you get to decide which ones truly count.

I think that if I didn’t love this book I wouldn’t have fallen in love with some of the other books that I’ve loved down the line. The Lord of the Rings, with its similar breathtaking descriptions of beautifully wild scenery. Animorphs, the idea of young people having to overcome adversity that they never should have to face.

And finally, my favorite book, Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier. Both books feature men in the wilderness though Inman has to deal with the press of humanity despite his best efforts. They also harken back to an older time and a deep respect for the native Americans while subtly noting the terrible things this country has done to them. They’re also just plain beautifully written. I wish I was as good as either of those men.

I read that book more than thirty years ago. I’m older now. I go for walks in the woods. I own a hatchet though I’ve never used it the way Brian has and probably never will. But when I’m in those woods, Brian walks with me. I don’t know if Gary Paulsen knew how important this book would be for me and others who have read that book. I hope he did.

RIP Gary, I hope on the other side you’re in a canoe floating down a river. The blue sky over your head endlessly and a smile on your face. From the deepest part of my heart, thank you.

Just Released: A Heartbeat in the Darkness

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Just released my first book on a variety of places. You can find it here: https://books2read.com/u/3nJPzP

I have to say that releasing it was terrifying and not just because it’s a book of horror short stories. But releasing it in the crucible of public opinion. You hope that everyone will love it. But even if they don’t live it that it will be fantastically bad. I would rather it be one way or the other instead of just bland.

Still, I’m excited. I’m looking forward to writing and releasing more. I want to really put it on the line. See what I’m made of and improve.

Also check out that cover art. The guy who made this is:

https://gaparaujjo.artstation.com/

He sent me a bunch of other designs but they didn’t fit the vibe. Then I saw this one and I was blown away. He’s very talented and if you’re looking for illustrations, check him out.

Anyway, A Heartbeat in the Darkness is on sale where most ebooks can be found for 2 bucks. The price of a Costco hot dog.

Random Word Generator Story Time: Extreme

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(I learned this from Paul Robalino on the behind the scenes of Game Changer on Dropout.TV. He talks about using a random word generator and then writing from that word. This time we’re getting EXTREME with the word, extreme.)

What follows is the transcript from the Regional Semifinals for the Radical Race and Extreme Sports Festival presented by Power Jam Juice. When you need to jam some power, you know whose juice to jank.

John: It’s a glorious day today at the local fairgrounds that have been converted for a day of extreme sports and racing. I’m John McJortson and I’m here with my cohost Leslie Redd-White, which makes you wonder why she didn’t just combine her hyphenated married name into Leslie Pink. How’re you doing today, Leslie?

Leslie: Fine, John, and the reason that I haven’t changed my name to Leslie Pink is that there is already a pornographic actress with that name. I wouldn’t want to try and trade on another woman’s name especially one as talented as her nor would I want to have to use my middle name to continue my own career. Sorry aunt Gladys but your name is old and lame.

John: Right you are, Leslie! Now, we’re about to get underway with our first events. We’re going to check in on the half pipe where Sean Lentil is about to start his first run. He’s dropping in and starting to pick up speed.

Leslie: Still picking up speed. He has not performed a single trick nor has he touched his board with anything but his feet.

John: He sure is getting some air on those exits.

Leslie: Wait, he’s starting to spin! It’s a 1080! And another one! And another! He’s really spinning. Oh, wait, he’s starting to achieve flight. Rising! Rising! And he’s reached escape velocity! While we’re waiting for the results for the run, we’re going to take a moment to thank our sponsors today, Power Jam Juice. They have two new flavors, Menacing Mango and Grandma Killed a Man and Covered it Up. The second one has a blue raspberry flavor and they would like to let everyone know they will no longer be offering poll voted flavor names.

John: Thank you for reminding us of our sponsors, Leslie and we have an update on Sean. He has broken the atmosphere and is currently in space. Apparently, the ISS has seen him achieve faster than light travel and disappeared. Godspeed, Sean and good luck.

Leslie: Achieving FTL from a single trick is pretty extreme, John.

John: Right you are, Leslie. What do we have next?

Leslie: Next up in the half pipe we have Corey Randalsandals who, looking to impress the crowd has taken off his shirt.

John: Those abs and tattoos will certainly impress some people in the crowd if they’re into those kinds of things.

Leslie: That’s a hell of a tattoo of kanji on his back. Having studied Japanese, I can read that and apparently it says “My name is Corey Randalsandals, I’m a selfish lover and even more of a red flag. I’m jealous and mean and I don’t deserve a wonderful girlfriend who knows what kanji means. I got this for very racist reasons that used the describers, exotic and mystical. By the time I unveil this at the Regional Semifinals for the Radical Race and Extreme Sports Festival presented by Power Jam Juice, my girlfriend will have taken everything out of my house and headed for greener pastures. Go fuck yourself, Corey, I know about Nicole.”

John: That’s quite a lot.

Leslie: Small print. Looks like he’s pulled out his phone and is making a phone call. He’s yelling into his phone. Now he’s pathetically begging. Looks like his girlfriend was funding his lifestyle as he’s not a very good skater. Okay, he hasn’t dropped in but he has curled into a ball and is starting to cry.

John: That’s quite a move, I don’t know how the judges are going to score it. Well, he’s dropped in and left the half pipe. Looks like he’s skating away. Just disappearing over the horizon. Godspeed, Corey.

Leslie: I’m pretty sure that he came here in a car. Anyway, this is a good time to bring up Ron’s towing another sponsor that will treat your car like it’s his own. That’s not that good because I’ve seen the way that Ron treats his cars.

John: And as always, Power Jam Juice, try their other newest flavor Bananaramalabamaslammamamajammagamma juice. The fun thing about this one is that it actually doesn’t have a banana flavor but more a citrus flavor. There was a miscommunication between marketing and R&D and they had already made the cans, so yeah.

Leslie: Oh my god, in all my years of sports broadcasting, I’ve never seen this happen. A large hairy man, that can only be the Bigfoot has come onto the halfpipe. Kids, I want you to notice that even sasquatch is wearing proper safety gear. You should always make sure that you’re safe and happy when skating.

John: Couldn’t agree more, Leslie. Bigfoot is not an official contestant but he is being given special dispensation to enter. He’s about to start his run. Oh my god, I’ve never seen skating like this.

Leslie: A 900 into a Christ air into a heelflip and then a kickflip. He’s getting some good hang time there. And right into a Dizzy Gillespie. That’s the best skating wombat that I’ve ever seen. He’s… yes, he’s knitting! That’s a beautiful scarf! Bigfoot has excellent color sense. And he finishes with a Leaning Tower of Pisa. The crowd is going nuts. Wait… it’s not only for Bigfoot. Oh my god… there are deer at the edge of the grounds.

John: Those are not deer.

Leslie: Yes, that one has four eyes and eight antlers.

John: In this shocking turn of events, Bigfoot is running towards the not deer.

Leslie: He’s shouting something in his language of grunts and growls.

John: I took Bigfoot language in college and by taking it I listened to a crazy man tell me about his erotic and tender encounters with Bigfoot for five hours. I understand what he’s saying. He’s shouting that he has fallen in love with our society despite our flaws. That he wishes to save these innocents from those monsters. That he knows our mistakes and he loves us no matter what.

Leslie: I’m openly weeping, John.

John: And he’s entered battle with them! The not deer are shifting into forms that I can’t describe. The sounds that I’m hearing are horrific. Bigfoot is fighting valiantly. It looks bad though. Oh my god, no, he’s won… but he’s been mortally wounded. The crowd is running to him. Looks like several members of the crowd who have medical training are looking to help him. A woman has knelt and is holding his hand. He’s tenderly stroking her cheek. And… his hand has gone limp. The crowd has gently closed his eyes. The crowd are screaming in sorrow. It looks like they’re lifting his body gently.

Leslie: From what I can hear, they’re calling to take him to the local cemetery and build a great mausoleum for him. They don’t care how many people they have to drag out of their graves to make room for him.

John: Leslie, I’m going to end my broadcast here. I know of several wealthy landowners who have been laid too much at rest.

Leslie: Let me come with you, John. I’ve always had a great love of Bigfoot as any American would and should. This has truly been extreme. May a fleet of angels sing thee to thy rest, gentle Bigfoot.

End of transcript

One of the great tragedies in literature

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Recently on reddit someone asked who the character is that makes you sad. There are a lot of characters that I could think of but the one that came to my mind is Pangle from my favorite book, Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier.

The book is about Inman trying to get home through the losing south during the last days of the Civil War. He is amongst a group of people called outliers who are hiding from the home guard. One of the outliers is Stobrod, a violinist who after playing a little girl out has no longer been able to focus on the war. He runs into Pangle while hiding in a cave on Cold Mountain.

Pangle was run off his family’s property for being “simple-minded” and he hid in the mountains. He discovered a group of other outliers in his cave and was happy to see them. He fell in love with Stobrod’s music and during a raid on a farmer’s house, Stobrod stole a banjo. Pangle took to the banjo easily and the two became a duo. Even before that, Pangle would curl up next to Stobrod to sleep no matter how many times Stobrod shoved him away. In Stobrod’s words, all Pangle wanted was warmth and music.

The tragedy of Pangle comes when him and Stobrod are discovered by the Home Guard, the group meant to find outliers. They listen to the two play some music with only Stobrod realizing that they’re about to get killed. When the guard tells them to get up against a tree, Pangle throws his arm over Stobrod’s shoulders like they’re getting their picture taken. He won’t stop smiling so the guard tells him to put his hat over his face. He does so and they’re killed.

It’s pretty obvious that Pangle represents the kindness and innocence of people in the face of war. His murder is one of several dozen in this book. But this one always stuck out to me due to its unfairness and tragedy. He didn’t have any involvement in this, the war and its consequences came to him. He could have lived for a long time on that mountain.

Due to their mental state, I’m reminded of Lenny from Of Mice and Men. But the sorrow in Lenny is that a friend did it to him to be kind. Knowing that the fate that he would receive at the hands of the land owner would be far worse. These bastards did it just out of meanness.

Ada and Ruby(Stobrod’s daughter) come up the mountain to bury him and Pangle when they find Stobrod alive. When he’s going back down the mountain, Inman points out where they buried Pangle, Stobrod says “if God was to set out killing every men based on their demerits, that boy would make up the hind end of the line”.

When I read that line, I thought of it as a good way to live. Not with the threat of death from an overseeing God but to continue to show that kind of kindness throughout my life. It would be a nice thing to do.

I’m way too upset about these characters in these children books

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In the words of Adam Green, it’s hard to be a girl. It would be a lot easier for these two girls if people would just stop being assholes to them.

First up, we have Anne Shirley from Anne of Green Gables. I’ve met her just about a dozen pages before and she has instantly stolen my heart. I want what’s best for this child. I want her to have so much more than this world could offer her. She is a joy to be around.

Then snooty Mrs. Rachel shows up and is like “well, they didn’t adopt you for your looks”.

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU, MRS. RACHEL.

All Anne wanted was to be loved and a home. She doesn’t need your hate. I haven’t finished the book but I doubt she’s going to get hers. The greatest villains never do, which is what brings me to our next subject.

Kristy’s dad from the Babysitters’ Club. Kristy just wanted her dad to be there for her. Just once. But no, he had to be out of her life. Couldn’t even take twenty minutes to call her. To let his daughter knew he cared.

I checked and he never got his. There was no comeuppance for him. There should have been.

It’s not that they’re the greatest villains in the world of literature(they’re up there) but it’s the fact that their arrogance and disregard hurts girls that are already facing a great deal. The world has so much cruelty and you can let it change you or you could be better than it. Both of these people need to be better.

But yo, if they lived in the same time period, I think that Kristy would love to have Anne in the Babysitters’ Club and Anne would kill it. She already knows how to save children’s lives.

One of the Saddest Things I’ve Read

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The Tomorrow Series by John Marsden is perhaps one of my favorite anti-war book series that I’ve ever read. For those that don’t know, the series is about seven Australian teenagers that go camping in the bush and when they return home, they find that another country has invaded their home. They then become guerilla fighters and try to fight to win back their homeland.

The books are incredible and are each titled exquisitely: “Tomorrow When the War Began”, “The Dead of Night”, “The Third Day, a Frost”, “Darkness, Be My Friend”, “Burning For Revenge”, “The Night is For Hunting” and “The Other Side of Dawn”. They are harrowing to say the least.

But the thing is that it has I think one of the saddest moments when it comes to growing up. Ellie talks about picking up a Barbie and trying to summon the magic of play that she had when she was a child. She just can’t do it. That magic is gone. It’s cut off from her.

I’ve read a fair amount of anti-war and tales about growing up but nothing has resonated with me like that. It’s the same as someone pointing out that there was a point when your parents put you down one day and they never picked you back up. Leaving childhood behind means that you’ll never be able to do some things again.

I’m childfree but I figure that this is partly why people have kids. To give them the things back that they can’t get. I always think about when I went to see the first Inside Out movie and wonder why I saw so many crying adults in there. I wondered if it was because they knew that there was going to be a time when they couldn’t make their kids happy. That their children would have to suffer pain. The inevitability of all of that.

If you haven’t read these books, I highly recommend them. Just be aware that they get very rough at parts. He doesn’t shy away from the realities of it.