The First Ten Albums of the Year

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So, if you’ve followed this blog from last year, I try and listen to at least 100 albums I’ve never listened to before. I didn’t have time to break down my feelings on each one so I decided to break them up into ten articles as I get through them. So, here are the first ten.

  1. Charli XCX- Brat

I’ve never been to the club but I feel like this is what it would feel like. Fun, upbeat, sexy, but with a certain sadness when you get into the dark corners and the lights start to dim at the end of the night. Charli brings the attitude along with her talent on every song. The only reason I don’t remember the songs better than I do is because I listened to this on New Year’s Day after a wild night of making tacos and going to bed early. A solid album.

2. Jeff Buckley- Grace

A classic album and for a reason. There’s nothing but heartfelt vulnerability here and of course, the career defining cover of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah. They talk about fidelity and ideal ways to listen to albums. I feel like the way I’m supposed to listen to this album is while I’m comforting Jeff Buckley and he’s singing into a microphone on my chest while he cries.

3. Simon and Garfunkel- Bridge Over Troubled Water

Look at these two nerds that sing like angels. This is a well worn sweater of an album with finger picking that sounds like a mountain stream and vocal harmonies that would make the Beach Boys envious. The two are masters and this is them at the height of their power.

4. Beth May- Sunday Scaries

I knew Beth May from her work with Dungeons and Daddies and checked out her poetry book, The Immortal Soul Salvage-Yard. I listened to that album because I knew that I wanted to hear the poetry as Beth thought it should be. These poems are expert wordplay on top of heartbreaking topics such as womanhood and mental health and how the two intertwine and both cause damage.

5. and 6. Sebadoh- Bakesale and Secret EP

I was out for a walk and listened to these two back to back. The first bakesale was released in 1994 and is just some good solid 90s grunge-y rock. Great riffs and arrangements all the way through. Nearly twenty years later we get the Secret EP that shows that the band has grown and embraced modern influences but still has that grunge ethos along for the ride. Good to hear just some normal guitar rock.

7. Bjork- Debut

Okay this one has to come with a disclaimer. I really liked it. But I’m a bit weird and Bjork’s very weird and we kind of clicked that way. It’s a really good album. But it’s really weird. Just give it a shot. Please. Do it for Bjork.

8. Garbage- Not Your Kind of People

Shirley Manson is going to go down as one of the most underrated singers of our generation. She has consistently put out solid work with Garbage. She embraces the outsider but unlike others who use that as a reason to be turn away from the mainstream, she stands in defiance of it. She truly doesn’t sound like she gives a shit about me. The eponymous song tells me that’s exactly it. Synth rock/pop for those that love good music.

9. Beck- The Information

Fuck. I really wanted to like this album. Both when it first came out and now. Age didn’t help it. The thing is that if this was any other band, it would be amazing. But this is Beck. Odelay. Sea Change. Guero. Midnite Vultures. Mutations. All of them, solid, solid albums. So, that’s why this one left me kind of cold. Sorry, buddy. You’re still my favorite, Beck.

10. The Hives- Barely Legal

Do you like bratty punk rock? Do you like fun songs? Do you like bands playing as fast as they can? That’s what this album is. It’s the intro to what would eventually be an amazing run of albums.

Sinners Review- What’s better than one Michael B. Jordan? Two Michael B. Jordans!

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I went to go see the movie, Sinners and it was phenomenal. Expertly shot, directed, paced and acted. Everyone is bringing their A game in this. This is the spoiler free part of the review, so go see it. Stop reading and go see it.

***SPOILERS***

The opening monologue talks about spirit singers who were able to converse with the voices of the past and future. That this has gone on through a variety of cultures. We then see a young man walking into a church holding a broken guitar neck. His father is preaching and tells him to accept the word of God. It is a harrowing scene and Sammie(Miles Caton) easily sells how broken and desperate he is.

We flashback to a day before and we see that our primary focus is going to be three men, a pair of twin brothers who are veterans and gangsters by the name of Smoke and Stack(played by Michael B. Jordan). They’re returning to their hometown to open up a juke joint for the local population based out of an abandoned saw mill owned by a racist white man. They know that Sammie is a whiz on a guitar and recruit him first. From there, we see the two brothers’ reputation both personal and professional. A pair of young men try to rob their truck. Smoke shoots both of them non-lethally to make sure that people know what happens when you try and rob the brothers. They hire a pianist named Delta Slim(Delroy Lindo) and Sammie becomes infatuated with a singer named Pearline(Jayme Lawson) who he invites to the juke joint’s opening night.

The personal is that Stack had abandoned a young woman named Mary(played by Hailee Steinfeld) who passes for white. This leads to a lot of possibly dangerous scenarios when she oversteps the boundaries of normal race relations. She is none too happy with him. Smoke on the other hand, visits his estranged wife. They have a confrontation over his departure and how they both still love each other. Annie(Wunmi Mosaku) is a practitioner of Hoodoo and herbalism. She’s signed on as a cook for the juke joint. The lesser lights are Bo and Grace Chow(Yao and Li Jun Li respectively) who are suppliers for the joint and run the gambling tables and Cornbread(Omar Miller) to act as a bouncer.

From there, the movie kicks it into high gear. We see our villain, Remmick(Jack O’Connell) arrive at the house of a pair of KKK members being pursued by some Choctaw vampire hunters. He turns the couple after they rid him of his pursuers.

Our board is set and if you know anything about history, you know that black people in the south aren’t safe. There is always violence or the threat of violence. We got that in the beginning of the day when Smoke and Stack bought the saw mill. The racist white man they bought the saw mill from was clearly awful. We’ll get back to him soon.

The party looks like it’s rocking. We got a career defining long take shot of Sammie’s performance as he summons the spirits of past, present and future. Music is life and it fills the saw mill with it.

However, vampires feed off and destroy life and that draws Remmick and his cohorts in. They begin to turn the crowd in drips and drabs and then a flood leading only a few patrons left to defend the bar. The movie at this point feels like we’re seeing a thunderstorm flowing in. When the lightning hits, it fucking hits. The battle is bloody and brutal. But you feel some kind of relaxation at finally getting into it. It’s almost a relief.

In the end, there are only about four survivors, Mary and Stack both turned into vampires and Smoke and Sammie. Smoke sends Sammie away because he learned from Remmick that the Klan is coming to kill all of them. We’re brought to the beginning of the movie and Sammie flees the church as much as he fled the vampires.

Smoke kills the entirety of the Klan easily but one of those assholes gets off a lucky shot and mortally wounds our hero. The audience cheered at this part of the movie and this is how I believe every movie should end.

I was light with the details because I want anyone to read this to go and make their own decisions about it. What you’re getting if you watch this film is a skilled hand in Coogler directing a cast that is bursting with talent. There are few movies I’ve ever seen where it feels like nothing was excessive. Where it felt so airtight and effortless. Go see this as soon as you can.

Finding My Religion

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When I was younger, I became depressed. At the time, the internet was non-existent and I didn’t know who or what to turn to. I knew that God was supposed to be by my side through all things, so I reached out to him. I prayed and thought that ‘hey, maybe if I’m a good person, God will take this pain away from me’.

It didn’t happen. Eventually, I gave up on waiting for my sadness to dissipate and started triaging it. I found ways around it and to kept it secret. Eventually, my faith just kind of leaked away. I figured if God existed They didn’t care that much about me.

It never turned into bitterness, I mostly just talked about God like an ex that I had a good co-parenting relationship with. I just went about my business and They went about theirs.

I thought of God in sometimes contradictory terms, influenced by the things I read and watched. I thought about the story of Job and wondered how God could do that to one of his believers. I thought about Inman in Cold Mountain wondering what kind of mind had to exist to create something like pain and that God must be tired of being called down on both sides of a conflict. The song A Battle Hymn For Children by the Faint “If it’s true that God roots for the U.S.A/Is every bomb we drop in God’s name?”

I felt a loss though. Something was inside of me and it wasn’t there anymore. In the words of Leoben from Battlestar Galactica, “What is the most basic article of faith? This is not all that we are.”

That was gone. It was there and it wasn’t.

I was okay with that though. I thought about doing the right thing and helping people. That became my guiding star. And that’s when I found out about the concept of humanism.

That one made perfect sense to me. For those that don’t know, humanists, at least in my understanding, believe that every person has fundamental human rights and deserves to be free and happy. You should do good for everyone without the expectation of going to heaven.

When I read that, it felt right. It felt good. It had always felt off to do something because I was promised the eternal reward of heaven. If that’s what drives you on, so be it. But’s not for me. I want to exist. I want to no longer exist. Simple as that. Hopefully, I’ll do some good in the meantime.

However, I have been looking for community. I’ve missed the feeling of belonging to something. I’ve done that in the past, as part of a community service fraternity and a feminist group. To that end, I’ve been thinking about going to the church of the Universal Unitarians.

When I get a chance, I’m going to go to a service. I’ll let you know how it goes. R.E.M play me out.

Monologue as I am Eaten by a Tiger

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“Well, buddy, I had a good run. God, you’re beautiful. I don’t know if you’re male or female. But I hope female. I hope I’m feeding another generation of you majestic creatures. You know I had hopes and dreams. But sometimes they don’t work out. Sometimes, only one dream works out. This is that dream. God, I’m glad I’m not getting eaten by something lame like a human. You’re a dream of muscle and grace. Yet, you still maintain your cuteness. I would snuggle the fuck out of you if I hadn’t broken my leg trying to run from you. What a fruitless gesture. I’m not even sick or weak like your other prey. I was in fine health. You’re just my better. That’s it bat me around if you want to. I don’t care. This might hurt but I will be part of you. I will nourish a creature that is my better. Well, I’ve come to rest here in this jungle. You’re opening your mouth now. It’s been an honor.”

Chomp.

Another Gender Switch

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So, I wrote on Tuesday the reason I think the Silver Surfer was changed to being a woman. Maybe I was too harsh but the fact of the matter, is that Johnny Storm is too horny and more often than not is paired up with extraterrestrial beings whether they be Skrulls or Inhumans or whatever.

But we know that this isn’t the first time we’ve had a gender swap to indicate a different universe. Let’s turn the clock back to Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse. We see this woman early in the film, she has a kind of Bill Nye show that Miles is watching in class.

She looks like a more realistic version of Ms. Frizzle. Speaking of which, why was it Ms. Frizzle? What the fuck is wrong with people in that universe? Why wouldn’t they wife her up as soon as they could. You gotta lock down Ms. Frizzle as fast you can if you’re dating her.

Anyway, you see her at the lab that the Spider-men need to infiltrate. She catches Peter B. Parker standing around and pulls up his mask realizing that he’s from a different dimension. She mentions how he’s going to die painfully and she can’t wait for it. Throwing off her labcoat, she reveals that her full name is Dr. Olivia Octavius.

It is a stunning reveal and I’m so glad I wasn’t spoiled for it. But thinking about it, they never point out that her father was Doc Ock or anything like that. She could just be the main octopus themed villain of that universe.

And she is effective in how scary she is. A lot of it has to do with Kathryn Hahn’s impeccable vocal performance. It’s the reason she was also so affecting as Agatha from Wandavision.

That’s why probably they made the Silver Surfer a lady as they’ve said that the Fantastic Four movie takes place in a different universe. They’ll probably put the male Silver Surfer in the mainstream universe.

Whatever the reason, I don’t give a fuck. Mix and match them. Remix them. Comics are fluid and so is gender.

None of it matters as long as the character is well written and fun. And you know what changing these characters does? It gives more people an in, which means more people into this thing that I love. More diversity means better stories and a wider world both for those in fiction and for ourselves.

The New Silver Surfer

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Somewhere someone is making a terrible youtube video about wokeness and other bullshit regarding the fact that the new Silver Surfer is a woman. It’s really stupid.

My thoughts, it doesn’t matter if the Silver Surfer is male or female, the character just has to wrestle with the moral conundrum of bringing the big purple dude to planets to munch.

But really, we all know the reason for the Silver Surfer to be female. It’s so that the Human Torch can date her. The Human Torch has a habit of dating women from space so it makes sense for him to be into her. Besides look at this photo.

That’s a, “I saw her across the room” look. I’m calling it. Let’s see if I’m right.

Mogwai are Biological Weapons

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So, the movie Gremlins, showed us creatures known as Mogwai and their offshoots known as Gremlins. The rules are simple, don’t get them wet or they’ll multiply and don’t feed them after midnight.

A lot of people don’t know what constitutes after midnight. I believe it’s the time between midnight and four am. Four am to eight am is dawn. Eight to noon is morning. Noon to five is afternoon. Five to nine is evening. Nine to midnight is night. That’s the concept I’m working with.

But these things aren’t furbies, they have minds of their own. They are ready to come over here and break all the rules.

The question though is why did that racial stereotype give Randall the Mogwai in the first place? Simple, he was a mercenary. He was hired by America’s enemies to test out a new weapon on our shores. We were in the middle of the Cold War. What better than an enemy that would destroy everything without a thought?

Look at them. They’re designed to make you want to take care of them. That’s perfect for infiltrating populations particularly through children. That’s insidious. Billy fell in love with the stupid thing.

How do you get more of them? You pour water on them. The most plentiful substance on the planet. Get them near a shore, say New York City and suddenly you have an army ready to go.

That brings me to another thought, do Mogwai follow Doctor Who rules? For those that don’t know, when the Doctor is fatally injured but not dead, he regenerates into a new form. However, if he’s killed before regenerating. He’s dead permanently.

I wonder if you drowned a Mogwai could you stop the multiplication or would they just burst from the body to go forth.

Anyway, you have these creatures that find ways to eat after midnight. Once they do so, they become the horrible monsters and they’re ready to destroy.

I was terrified of Gremlins as a child. Now I know why. I saw their true face.

Kurt

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The 31st anniversary of Kurt Cobain’s death was a few days ago. I was obsessed with Nirvana growing up and throughout high school. It’s the reason that I started playing guitar. I never really learned his songs because I knew I couldn’t play them as well as he could but I wrote my own because of him.

From what I read in the various biographies about him, he was a deeply troubled but kind soul. He was in constant pain from a bend in his spine that caused him stomach problems throughout his life. Also, a private person that was not ready for the ravages of fame. But we tell people that that’s the price they pay for wanting to do the job.

He also hated people for their stupid and pointless hatred.

“If any of you, in any way, hate homosexuals, people of a different color or women, please do this one favor for us — leave us the fuck alone. Don’t come to our shows and don’t buy our records.” – Kurt Cobain

“I’m not gay but I wish I was so that I could piss off the homophobes.” -Kurt Cobain

It’s quotes like these that made him a rock star in my eyes. Rock stars are supposed to write great songs and challenge the status quo. People like Bowie, Cash, Springsteen and Dylan calling out injustice when they see it. Kurt did it in his own way. He brought female led bands on tour with him so that they could get more exposure in a scene where they weren’t respected. He wore dresses so often that you would think that he clearly held views similar to Iggy Pop:

“I’m not ashamed to dress as a woman because I don’t think there’s anything shameful about being a woman.”

I see the Nirvana smiley face a lot around and I hope it means that people are listening to his music. I don’t think that’s what’s going on and it’s just become a brand to sell t-shirts. I think the music stands as tall as it did back then. Every album full of amazing riffs and lyrics. I think my favorite song is the one that was never actually released “You Know You’re Right”, which is a crystallization of his song writing.

This Kid Definitely Grew Up To Be a Psychopath

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I’ve had problems with the Homeward Bound movies since I saw them as kids. The first one is an absolutely beautiful movie that still can make me weep as a nearly forty year old man. The scene where Shadow falls in the hole and then gives up. Then they fake you out that he didn’t get out of the hole and died down there. This movie was hardwired to wound me. Oh and even before this, they send a cat down a waterfall! So, hey even if you’re more of a cat person, they’re going to harm you too.

Chance, Shadow and Sassy and the sound of me sobbing

Homeward Bound 2: Lost in San Francisco introduces three of cinema’s greatest monsters. If you’ve never seen this movie that’s over thirty years old at this point, the pets from the first movie are lost again but now instead of the wilderness, they’re in San Francisco. They’re befriended by a group of dogs led by Riley.

Who’s a good boy?

Riley has a deep distrust of humans because he was given as a Christmas gift to a little boy. But for some reason the little boy was born with evil in his heart and ignores the beautiful puppy before him.

Look at his little bow!

The parents have already made the dumb mistake of giving the boy an animal as a gift without discussing it with him first. But they further show why they raised a monster because they’re monsters themselves! Instead of taking the dog back to where they got him and admitting they’re fucking idiots, they make him a customized box to dump him in the gutter on the coldest and rainiest night of the year according to the narration.

Go fuck yourselves.

I could have posted a pic of Riley in the box with his bow still on but hey, you don’t need to cry today. I had to carry that burden. These people would cut funding for Mr. Freeze’s wife if they got the chance. They make supervillains. If Riley went White God on the city of San Francisco, I wouldn’t like it for the innocent citizens of that beautiful city but I would get it.

How I Would End the Simpsons

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WHY?!

Does this still make money? I don’t even know anymore.

Anyway, I think the Simpsons should have ended a long time ago. They’ve had great episodes that they could have ended on. The one where Lisa sees her future of nearly getting married to Simpsons Hugh Grant. But I have my own ending for the yellow family.

I would have Homer doing another one of his dumb money making schemes and everyone comments on how Homer has had some successful ventures in the past. He tells them that he doesn’t know. He then finds a note in his pocket that is a reminder that he has an account in Shelbyville. He drives out there and finds out that there is a lot of money in the account. He wonders what happened and the Simpsons see that there is a dent in the wall. The bank teller tells him that every time he would make a deposit, he would immediately hit himself in the hard and forget about everything.

The Simpsons realize that they are now rich and everything can be taken care of. Homer can retire, there’s enough money for Lisa to go to college and Bart can do whatever he wants.

I think that that would be a good ending because it would harken back to the old Simpsons where Homer was a good father and calls back to every adventure they had.

That’s how I would finish it.