Tag Archives: cats

This Kid Definitely Grew Up To Be a Psychopath

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I’ve had problems with the Homeward Bound movies since I saw them as kids. The first one is an absolutely beautiful movie that still can make me weep as a nearly forty year old man. The scene where Shadow falls in the hole and then gives up. Then they fake you out that he didn’t get out of the hole and died down there. This movie was hardwired to wound me. Oh and even before this, they send a cat down a waterfall! So, hey even if you’re more of a cat person, they’re going to harm you too.

Chance, Shadow and Sassy and the sound of me sobbing

Homeward Bound 2: Lost in San Francisco introduces three of cinema’s greatest monsters. If you’ve never seen this movie that’s over thirty years old at this point, the pets from the first movie are lost again but now instead of the wilderness, they’re in San Francisco. They’re befriended by a group of dogs led by Riley.

Who’s a good boy?

Riley has a deep distrust of humans because he was given as a Christmas gift to a little boy. But for some reason the little boy was born with evil in his heart and ignores the beautiful puppy before him.

Look at his little bow!

The parents have already made the dumb mistake of giving the boy an animal as a gift without discussing it with him first. But they further show why they raised a monster because they’re monsters themselves! Instead of taking the dog back to where they got him and admitting they’re fucking idiots, they make him a customized box to dump him in the gutter on the coldest and rainiest night of the year according to the narration.

Go fuck yourselves.

I could have posted a pic of Riley in the box with his bow still on but hey, you don’t need to cry today. I had to carry that burden. These people would cut funding for Mr. Freeze’s wife if they got the chance. They make supervillains. If Riley went White God on the city of San Francisco, I wouldn’t like it for the innocent citizens of that beautiful city but I would get it.

Why Cats are Funnier Than Dogs

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In the backstory for the murderous foe of the Simpsons, Sideshow Bob, who was Krusty the Clown’s sidekick for many years, we see that his brother Cecil tried out for it instead. Cecil appeared in full clown makeup while Bob wore a dapper suit. When it came to the pie test, Cecil got hit with it and it wasn’t funny. Krusty reprimands him and says “The pie gag’s only funny if the sap’s got dignity.”

And that’s why cats are so much funnier than dogs.

Now, let me remind you that I have nothing against dogs. I think they’re proud and noble creatures that have served humanity for hundreds of years and no amount of praise, treats or belly rubs can be leveled at that them to ever thank them enough for the work they do in being our trusted companions.

But that doesn’t equate funniness. They are funny in their own way but cats I think take it way further. So here’s a short list of the reasons I think cats are funny.

  1. They just roll with the punches. Cats will get themselves stuck somewhere and just chill for the most part. Their ability to fit anywhere they can get their head through leads to them in all kinds of situations.

2. They look really funny in hats. This is self explanatory.

3. Cats’ reactions to things. Cats are overly dramatic and I love that for them. They will launch themselves off of something or go buck wild over the mildest thing.

4. They are expressive beyond belief. Sure they don’t probably know about the emotions that we’re applying to these expressions but they’re all funny. Whether they be angry:

Shocked:

Or just reinstating the clear relationship boundary lines:

I have a great love for all animals but cats will always be my favorite having grown up with them and learned their eccentricities and personalities. Soon, I will have my own cat, that is owned solely by me just like I have this apartment. I will regale you with tales of that cat and his insanity.

Well, anyway, thank you for joining me on this somewhat redundant post reminding the internet that cats are funny.

Little Kitty, Big City Review

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The trailers for Little Kitty, Big City got me cautiously excited. The reason I was cautiously excited was because I didn’t know if anything could happen to the cat. Once the second trailer was just like “Hey, we got you, we know that you just want to watch a fun cat be silly. Nothing can happen to this sweet boy.”

Still haven’t played Stray because I heard things can happen to that cat. It’s hard but the possibility is enough to make sure that I don’t play it. Can’t deal with sad cat stuff. Not at this point in my life.

Anyway, I immediately thought about comparisons to Untitled Goose Game. I enjoyed the hell out of Goose Game mostly because it was enigmatic. You were a goose that seemingly had beautiful handwriting and a vendetta against this one small hamlet. It had mischief to do and it wasn’t going to let anything stop it. This included bullying a small child, bullying a gardener, destroying and stealing whatever it wanted. Why? Well, look at geese, we all know that they look sinister as hell and would do this given half the chance.

Little Kitty on the other hand, has a plot, characters and a clear goal. You are a little cat and you need to get back home to continue your nap. You need to climb back up but you need the strength to do it and you gain that through eating fish. Eat the four fish and began the somewhat challenging climb. Before all that, you’re going to meet a tanuki inventor, a merchant crow hell bent on getting shinies, a duck family and some other helpful older cats. Humans will pet you or if they’re annoyed, pick you up and walk you out of their place of residence or business. To reiterate, no harm can come to the cat.

The game is beautiful, the music is delightful, the characters are fun and the dialogue is witty. The gameplay itself rewards exploration with a bunch of fresh new hats that all look adorable and getting to see your kitty nap in a variety of places. It’s not a long game only taking about two hours to complete and another three if you want to 100% it. However, it’s going to enter my rotation of cool down games where I just want to relax and not think about things like Powerwash Simulator. Just a nice, cozy game to take my mind off of things.