Tag Archives: horror

The Darkness Inside of Me

I found the book in that old book store and shouldn’t have bought it. I shouldn’t have read it without knowing the language that it was written in. After that, I started to have strange nightmares every night.

I saw nightmarescapes of flayed humans and the land broken. The sky had been dyed red from the blood that had filled the seas. Everywhere there was fire and death. Creatures came screaming down from the sky to attack the few survivors that were walking through this blasted wasteland.

Even when I woke, I heard the voices. They whispered dark things to me. They had tasks for me to do. That they wanted me to feast on different things. Things that I never would have under my own power. I feasted on the flesh of so many creatures.

When I look at myself in the mirror, strange things move behind my eyes. My hands are not responding but they still move. They have become addicted to my online shopping account. They are gathering ingredients. Collecting things.

They have whispered to me, that my family will love these tostadas and they do. I have become a lifeless corpse. I buy ingredients. I make tostadas. I consume them. My family consumes and every day the cycle starts again. The darkness has seized me. I am lost. I am the undead. I need someone to find me and end my suffering. Free me from this tostada hell.

Anyway, here’s the recipe.

Ingredients:
Corn tortillas
Tomato salsa
Beans
Chicken or Ground Beef
Guacamole
Shredded Lettuce
Sour Cream
Shredded taco cheese
Pickled jalapenos
Taco sauce

Directions

  1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Place corn tortillas on grated tray and spray with cooking spray. Cook for five minutes and then flip. Cook for another five minutes. Call up your local priest and tell him his religion is a lie.
  2. When corn tortillas are nearly finished cooking, sautee your pickled jalapenos until they become soft and then add your chicken, beans or beef. You may add other spices to your liking. Carve strange symbols into your local park benches that praise the Old Ones that slumber and wait for the slaughter.
  3. When the tortillas and protein have finished cooking, begin assembly. Apply sour cream to corn tortilla. Place chosen protein on top of it. Add cheese that it can melt. Apply salsa, lettuce and guacamole. Top with taco sauce. Wordlessly scream at your loved ones.
  4. Enjoy. Kill.

Last Night at the Bar

I admit that I was trying something new and stupid last night. I decided to chat up a beautiful woman who was sitting at the bar with a pickup line. I had never done it before and decided that it might be fun to try it on a whim. Who knows and you only live once, you know?

I approached her so that she would see and turn towards me. She turned her head to look at me.

“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” I asked her and smiled at her.

“Yes,” she said. “The first time. But I came clawing my way back up.”

It was then that I noticed that she had turned to look at me by turning her head 180 degrees.

I walked away at that moment and I can’t tell if its the rejection or the assumption to bother her that has caused these terrible nightmares. The ones where I see that I won’t just live once, but forever in a blasted hellscape.

I think I’ll stick to the dating apps from now on.