That comic is from xkcd.com and it has been my guiding star for a long time now. It has always been a difficult thing for me to consider whether or not I’m an adult. In all truthfulness, I nearly wrote grownup instead of adult.

This has worked for me for the longest time. It makes sense. I’m not my parents nor is anyone I know. Older generations are against therapy, I’ve been in therapy since I was twenty-one and I will be probably for the rest of my life(that’s not a bad thing. I think that therapy isn’t a punishment it’s a release valve). So, I can do things that are silly and that other people consider stupid but it’s my life so who cares.

When I think about the milestones, I haven’t hit, house, wife, kids and the whole nine yards. I find myself not caring. I don’t need a house to maintain. I don’t need kids to continue my legacy. A wife, a partner, a friend might be nice but I’m happy alone.

But still when I was younger, I was told that that this was what was expected of me. This is what we do. My parents didn’t force me into it and my mom has never asked me when are you going to give me grandkids but you still can feel the pressure from other people. They say things like “when you’re married someday” or “you’ll understand when you have kids”. I just don’t care.

I’m getting off track. The concept I came up with was: immature in thoughts, mature in actions. Let me give you an example of my thoughts throughout the day:

I wonder if the convertible Kennedy died in was a transformer. How would he react to Kennedy getting shot? What if it was the same car as the one that Jack and Rose boinked in during the Titanic movie.

I need to eat better for my blood pressure. Should I look up soups?

Brian from Hatchet would be a good Animorph. I should write that fanfiction.

Gotta look up CD rates for my bonus. I should put some money away.

Gotta think of what to get for the kids that I’m doing secret Santa for, for my friend’s school.

I’d be a great sixth ranger but I’d be bad at being Tuxedo Mask.

I’ve never missed a rent or utilities payment. I clean my apartment every weekend. Even as a child, I remember seeing a child throwing a tantrum and thought to myself in much more childish terms: “that is unseemly and I shan’t be doing that”.

What I’m getting at is that interests can be childish and immature but as long as I keep up everything else it’s fine. I do the duties of an adult while indulging the child that I once was. Part of that means watching non-childish shows and what not, which is why I’m getting into Star Trek but also watch other movies. I also make sure I don’t buy everything I want to indulge that child either.

I’m not ashamed of the person I am. I like being me, I like the well of knowledge I dive into when I need a reference is deep not just for old Power Ranger episodes but for songs that have broken my heart since I was a teen. I also have emotional maturity to understand the feelings I have and what to do with them(thanks, therapy). Since my father died, I’ve become the “I don’t know how to deal with the fear of my parents dying let me talk to Frank” guy. To that end, my sister and I have made a pledge that we wouldn’t raise our voices to have a discussion.

If I wasn’t any of those things, I feel it would be a reason for introspection. Even being one all of those things I know I still need to look inward continuously to make sure that I’m on the right path(thanks again, therapy). For right now, I’m going to enjoy my hard fought for contentment and make myself a salad for dinner.

Then I’m going to watch Card Captor Sakura and pay my bills. Because…