In my older age, when I want to play Pokemon games through totally legitimate and legal ways, I usually use some cheats. Things that give me rare candies to make leveling up easier or an infinite money cheat so that I can buy as many pokeballs as I need.

I’m an adult, I have limited time. I want to play pokemon in a way that won’t waste my time. But doesn’t that take away the fun, you ask? No, because I know when I get to that second town with the infinite money cheat I’m going to save that franchised pokemart from bankruptcy. Allow me to explain.

The second town in every pokemon game is where you buy your first pokeballs and other items. You never start off with enough money to get more than let’s say twenty. That comes out to about 4000 pokedollars or yen or whatever they use. After that, you’re probably not going to go back there. And considering most other pokemon trainers never catch other pokemon or leave the one place they have planted themselves, that pokemart is going to go under pretty soon.

But then Ms. Pokemon Moneybags rolls in and I buy 99 potions, 99 repels, 99 pokeballs, 99 antidotes and 5 escape ropes(you don’t need 99 of those). I’m dropping about 64,350 yen on them. That’s about 16 times more than any other protagonist playing the right way. That sounds like retirement money to me.

If you have a problem with my cheating, then you can tell the owners of that second town pokemart which of their kids gets to go to college. That’s on you.